The Quote Garden
 “I dig old books.”
 Est. 1998


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Quotations about Desserts

Related Quotes      Chocolate      Ice Cream      Food      Dieting

All people with healthy physical appetites have a sweet tooth somewhere in their heads. ~Macmillan's Magazine, 1887

Life is uncertain. Eat dessert first. ~Ernestine Ulmer

I want to have a good body, but not as much as I want dessert. ~Jason Love

My celebrity crush is Betty Crocker. ~Keith Wynn, @keithawynn

Stressed spelled backwards is desserts. Coincidence? I think not! ~Author Unknown

There I was, sleeping peacefully… all of a sudden, I thought I heard a hundred-voice chocolate chip cookie choir calling me… ~Charles Schulz, Peanuts, 1983 September 29th (Snoopy)

Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread and pumpkin pie. ~Jim Davis

If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe. ~Carl Sagan

A boy doesn't have to go to war to be a hero; he can say he doesn't like pie when he sees there isn't enough to go around. ~E.W. Howe

Cookies are made of butter and love. ~Norwegian Proverb

Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the Titanic who waved off the dessert cart. ~Erma Bombeck

I don't think a really good pie can be made without a dozen or so children peeking over your shoulder as you stoop to look in at it every little while. ~John Gould

Desserts are the fairy tales of the kitchen — a happily-ever-after to supper. ~Terri Guillemets

Mousse: How pudding describes itself on its résumé! ~Last Week Tonight with John Oliver

Whipped cream isn't whipped cream at all unless it's been whipped with whips. Just as a poached egg isn't a poached egg unless it's been stolen from the woods in the dead of night! ~Roald Dahl, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

You are my favorite excuse to whip cream. ~Anonymous Voyeur

But I, when I undress me
Each night, upon my knees
Will ask the Lord to bless me
With apple-pie and cheese.
~Eugene Field fills the cracks of the heart. Go away, pain. ~Kevin James, Mall Cop

A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand. ~Author Unknown

I'll obey them in the winter when the doctors say to me
I must give up ham and spinach, and obedient I'll be.
To relieve my indigestion in December they can try,
But there's none of them can stop me when it's time for cherry pie.
~Edgar A. Guest, The Milwaukee Journal, 1935 May 29th

There's no diet list I'll follow that would rule out cherry pie. ~Edgar A. Guest, The Milwaukee Journal, 1935 May 29th

Promises and pie-crust are made to be broken. ~Jonathan Swift

Pie and coffee is approximately the third best social interaction a man can hope to have with a woman. ~Author Unknown

Pessimism is as American as apple pie — frozen apple pie with a slice of processed cheese. ~ George F. Will

You can say this for ready-mixes — the next generation isn't going to have any trouble making pies exactly like mother used to make. ~Earl Wilson

Once in a young lifetime one should be allowed to have as much sweetness as one can possibly want and hold. ~Judith Olney

A party without cake is just a meeting. ~Julia Child

      I'm a great lover of visual art and I will happily discuss the color and texture of Van Gogh's Starry Night.... But I can think of nothing on earth so beautiful as the final haul on Halloween night, which, for me, was ten to fifteen pounds of candy, a riot of colored wrappers and hopeful fonts, snub-nosed chocolate bars and SweeTARTS, the seductive rattle of Jujyfruits and Good & Plenty and lollipop sticks all akimbo, the foil ends of mini LifeSavers packs twinkling like dimes, and a thick sugary perfume rising up from the pillowcase.
      And more so, the pleasure of pouring out the contents onto the rug in the TV room, of cataloging the take according to a strict Freak Hierarchy, calling for all chocolate products to be immediately quarantined, sorted, and closely guarded, with higher-quality fruit chews and caramels next, then hard candies, and last of all anything organic (the loathsome raisins). A brief period of barter with my brothers might ensue. For the most part, I simply lay amid my trove and occasionally massed the candy into a pile which I could sort of dive into, à la Scrooge McDuck and his gold ducats.
      ~Steve Almond, "Night of the Living Freak," Candyfreak: A Journey through the Chocolate Underbelly of America, 2004

Relationship status: just had a third helping of doughnuts ~Keith Wynn, @keithawynn

I'd consider being a farmer. As long as I could live on the Pepperidge Farm. And raise Milanos. ~Author Unknown

If your sweet tooth says candy — your wisdom tooth says Cerreta. ~Slogan of the Cerreta Candy Company in Glendale, Arizona (

Quark: Take a sip of this.... A human drink. It's called root beer.... What do you think?
Garak: It's vile.
Quark: I know. It's so bubbly and cloying and happy.
~Star Trek: Deep Space Nine [S4, E2, 1995]

You cannot loosen a man's tongue with root beer. ~Klingon proverb (Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, S5, E10, 1996)

[P]ie... the secret of our strength as a nation and the foundation of our industrial supremacy... ~"Editorial Comment: Hints in Gastronomy," Current Literature: A Magazine of Contemporary Record, June 1902

Pie is the American synonym of prosperity and its varying contents the calendar of the changing seasons. Pie is the food of the heroic. No pie-eating people can ever be permanently vanquished. It is a significant historical fact that England's glory was greatest in the days when her gallant sons ate pie.... True, there are doctors who preach against the pie habit and who profess to search for an antitoxin for the extinction of the pie microbe; but no one has ever known a doctor to refuse a second piece of pie. ~New York Times, 1902 May 3rd

In our own glad and fortunate country the seasons are known by their respective dominant pies—for each there is an appropriate pie, with apple pie for all the year round.... The perfect days of June welcome the lip-painting berry pies.... Then, as nature paints the forests with her magic brush, comes in the golden glory of the year, the royal pumpkin pie! ~New York Times, 1902 May 3rd

I prefer to regard a dessert as I would imagine the perfect woman: subtle, a little bittersweet, not blowsy and extrovert. Delicately made up, not highly rouged. Holding back, not exposing everything and, of course, with a flavor that lasts. ~Graham Kerr

Is it wrong to find life's meaning in a cinnamon roll? ~Keith Wynn, @keithawynn

When you die, if you get a choice between going to regular heaven or pie heaven, choose pie heaven. It might be a trick, but if it's not, mmmmm boy! ~Jack Handey

We will have two kinds of dessert. Hugs and kisses from mamma, and hugs and kisses from papa... ~Jay Benson Hamilton, "How Santa Claus Made One Dollar Hold Out," 1891

One little thing can revive a guy
And that is a piece of rhubarb pie
Serve it up, nice and hot
Maybe things aren't as bad as you thought.
~Bebopareebop Rhubarb Pie, "sponsor" of A Prairie Home Companion with Garrison Keillor

Who put the flame in the crème brûlée, brûlée
Who put the jam in the rama lama ding dong?
~Terri Guillemets

[W]e must have a pie. Stress cannot exist in the presence of a pie.... It casts out stress as the heat of the hand repels quicksilver.... Keep you your precious vapors, your fantods, your anxiety. Give me a pie. Give me a pie anyday. ~David Mamet, Boston Marriage

A dessert without cheese is like a beautiful woman with only one eye. ~Anthelme Brillat-Savarin

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Last modified 2017 Aug 20 Sun 10:36 PDT

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