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 Est. 1998


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Quotations about Foods

Related Quotes      Eating      Cooking      Desserts      Dieting      Coffee      Tea

Welcome to my page of quotations about food. I love a good meal, eating with loved ones, cooking, or heck, just being around food, and I love harvesting words about foods. I've listed the quotes below by type of food with subheadings for ease of browsing. Related pages: Cooking, Desserts, Eating, Dieting, Coffee, Tea, Vegetarianism, Gardens, Beer, Wine. Bon mot appétit! —tεᖇᖇ¡·g

Quotes about Vegetables

Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread, and pumpkin pie. ~Jim Davis

Shipping is a terrible thing to do to vegetables. They probably get jet-lagged, just like people. ~Elizabeth Berry

After all the trouble you go to, you get about as much actual "food" out of eating an artichoke as you would from licking 30 or 40 postage stamps. ~Miss Piggy

It's difficult to think anything but pleasant thoughts while eating a homegrown tomato. ~Lewis Grizzard

The greatest delight the fields and woods minister is the suggestion of an occult relation between man and the vegetable. I am not alone and unacknowledged. They nod to me and I to them. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Large, naked raw carrots are acceptable as food only to those who lie in hutches eagerly awaiting Easter. ~Fran Lebowitz

It's bizarre that the produce manager is more important to my children's health than the pediatrician. ~Meryl Streep

Plant a radish, get a radish, never any doubt. That's why I love vegetables, you know what they're about! ~Tom Jones and Harvey Schmidt

An onion can make people cry, but there has never been a vegetable invented to make them laugh. ~Will Rogers

Training is everything. The peach was once a bitter almond; cauliflower is nothing but Cabbage with a College Education. ~Mark Twain

Of plants tomatoes seemed the most human, eager and fragile and prone to rot. ~John Updike

Veggies are my savior and my soul. ~Terri Guillemets

Sauerkraut may be reckoned among the wholesomest foods. ~Sebastian Kneipp, Thus Shalt Thou Live: Hints and Advice for the Healthy and the Sick on a Simple and Rational Mode of Life and a Natural Method of Cure, 1889, translated from the 19th German edition  #fermented  #probiotics

Apelles gave us supper as if he had butchered a garden, thinking he was feeding sheep and not friends. There were radishes, chicory, fenugreek, lettuces, leeks, onions, basil, mint, rue, and asparagus. I was afraid that after all these things he would serve me with hay, so when I had eaten some half-soaked lupins I went off. ~Ammianus (2nd century A.D.), in The Greek Anthology, Volume IV, "Book XI: The Convivial and Satirical Epigrams," epigram 413, translated by W.R. Paton, 1918

Sea vegetables are the ocean's mineral and vitamin bank... ~Kristina Turner, The Self-Healing Cookbook, 2002, originally published 1987

Did you ever stop to taste a carrot? Not just eat it, but taste it? You can't taste the beauty and energy of the earth in a Twinkie™. ~Terri Guillemets [Don't get me wrong, I'm not knocking a good dose of junk food every once in a while. A pair of Ding Dongs® is enough to make better any bad day! –tg]

Hence various trees their various fruits produce,
Some for delightful taste, and some for use.
Hence sprouting plants enrich the plain and wood,
For physic some, and some design'd for food.
~Richard Blackmore, "Wisdom of God in the Vegetable Creation," 1712

I have so mushroom in my heart for you! ~Popular internet meme

[Celery] is as fresh and clean as a rainy day after a spell of heat. It crackles pleasantly in the mouth.... it should be eaten alone, for it is the only food which one really wants to hear oneself eat. ~A.A. Milne (1882–1956), "A Word for Autumn," Not That It Matters

Quotes about Fruit

There is a lot more juice in grapefruit than meets the eye. ~Author Unknown

Apples have other virtues than those that nourish merely. They refresh the spirits by their taste and perfume.... A dish of the choice kinds standing in one's study shall perfume his composition and rejoice his temper whensoever he tastes them. ~Amos Bronson Alcott (1799–1888)

It is, in my view, the duty of an apple to be crisp and crunchable, but a pear should have such a texture as leads to silent consumption. ~Edward Bunyard

Keep as near as ever you can to the first sources of supply—fruits and vegetables. ~B.W. Richardson

Always eat grapes downward — that is eat the best grapes first; in this way there will be none better left on the bunch, and each grape will seem good down to the last. If you eat the other way, you will not have a good grape in the lot. ~Samuel Butler

There is something in the flavor and aroma of the fresh strawberry that no amount of skill has been able to preserve. ~E.F. White, "Spring Soda Fountain Thoughts," 1908

Strawberries are the angels of the earth — innocent and sweet with green leafy wings reaching heavenward. ~Terri Guillemets

And, of course, the funniest food of all, kumquats. ~George Carlin

Apple-tree, apple-tree, crowned with delight,
Give me your fruit for a pie if you will;—
Crusty I'll make it, and juicy and light!—
Give me your treasure to mate with my skill!
~Louise Bennett Weaver and Helen Cowles LeCron, "September," A Thousand Ways to Please a Husband with Bettina's Best Recipes, 1917

That a slender wooden tree twig can give birth to luscious pears, apples, peaches remains an extraordinary feat. ~Dr. SunWolf, 2012 January 17th tweet,

A fruit is a vegetable with looks and money. Plus, if you let fruit rot, it turns into wine, something Brussels sprouts never do. ~P.J. O'Rourke

This special feeling towards fruit, its glory and abundance, is I would say universal.... We respond to strawberry fields or cherry orchards with a delight that a cabbage patch or even an elegant vegetable garden cannot provoke. ~Jane Grigson

Ripe grapes with purpling lustre shine
Where graceful droops the clinging vine.
~Phebe A. Holder, "A Song of October," in The Queries Magazine, October 1890

The market is full of delights in July:
Fresh vegetables, berries, red cherries for pie!
~Louise Bennett Weaver and Helen Cowles LeCron, "July," A Thousand Ways to Please a Husband with Bettina's Best Recipes, 1917

Shedding late-summer tears for the end of cherry season. Patiently and hopefully waiting for pumpkin pie season. ~Terri Guillemets

An apple is an excellent thing — until you have tried a peach. ~George du Maurier

If junk food is the devil, then a sweet orange is as scripture. ~Terri Guillemets

There are only ten minutes in the life of a pear when it is perfect to eat. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Never make eye contact while eating a banana. ~Author unknown

Vegetables are food of the earth, but fruits taste of the heavens. ~Terri Guillemets

Quotes about Grains, Breads, & Potatoes

Good bread is the most fundamentally satisfying of all foods; good bread with fresh butter, the greatest of feasts! ~James Beard

The bread is sweet; mamma's hands filled it with love when she made it; the cheese is fresh, and the tea is warm. ~Jay Benson Hamilton, "How Santa Claus Made One Dollar Hold Out," 1891

I'd rather have bread and cheese with my darlings than roast turkey, cranberry sauce, and mince-pie all alone. ~Jay Benson Hamilton, "How Santa Claus Made One Dollar Hold Out," 1891

Rice is born in water and must die in wine. ~Italian Proverb

Those who forget the pasta are condemned to reheat it. ~Author Unknown

If you ate pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry? ~Author Unknown

The bagel, an unsweetened doughnut with rigor mortis. ~Beatrice & Ira Freeman

A bagel is a doughnut with the sin removed. ~George Rosenbaum

Cold beer & pizza are spiritual. ~Betsy Cañas Garmon, (2008 tweet, @wildthyme)

Sex is good, but not as good as fresh, sweet corn. ~Garrison Keillor

In they drop with a click, clack, click,
Kernels so hard and yellow;
Round they whirl with a hop, skip, hop,
Each little dancing fellow.
Up they leap with a snap! crack! snap!
Tossing so light and airy;
Out they pour with a soft, swift rush,
Snowballs fit for a fairy!
~Sophia T. Newman, "Popcorn Song," in Good Housekeeping, February 1905

Proust had his madeleines; I am devastated by the scent of yeast bread rising. ~Bert Greene

Life is a combination of magic and pasta. ~Federico Fellini

There is nothing better on a cold wintry day than a properly made pot pie. ~Craig Claiborne

Too few people understand a really good sandwich. ~James Beard

I love sandwiches. Let's face it, life is better between two pieces of bread. ~Jeff Mauro, a.k.a. The Sandwich King

You can make any meal into a sandwich, and any sandwich into a meal. ~Jeff Mauro, a.k.a. The Sandwich King

I never had a piece of toast
Particularly long and wide,
But fell upon the sanded floor,
And always on the buttered side.
~James Payn

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it? ~Steven Wright

All sorrows are less with bread. ~Miguel de Cervantes, Don Quixote

What I say is that, if a fellow really likes potatoes, he must be a pretty decent sort of fellow. ~A.A. Milne (1882–1956), "Lunch," Not That It Matters

No man is lonely eating spaghetti; it requires so much attention. ~Christopher Morley

[Breadbaking is] one of those almost hypnotic businesses, like a dance from some ancient ceremony. It leaves you filled with one of the world's sweetest smells... there is no chiropractic treatment, no Yoga exercise, no hour of meditation in a music-throbbing chapel, that will leave you emptier of bad thoughts than this homely ceremony of making bread. ~M.F.K. Fisher, The Art of Eating

The reason it's called "Grape Nuts" is that it contains "dextrose," which is also sometimes called "grape sugar," and also because "Grape Nuts" is catchier, in terms of marketing, than "A Cross Between Gerbil Food and Gravel," which is what it tastes like. ~Dave Barry

I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast anytime." So I ordered French toast during the Renaissance. ~Steven Wright

Bread deals with living things, with giving life, with growth, with the seed, the grain that nurtures. It is not coincidence that we say bread is the staff of life. ~Lionel Poilane

Bread and butter, devoid of charm in the drawing-room, is ambrosia eating under a tree. ~Elizabeth Russell

A three-year-old gave this reaction to her Christmas dinner: "I don't like the turkey, but I like the bread he ate." ~Author Unknown

The trouble with eating Italian food is that five or six days later you're hungry again. ~George Miller

Our breakfast consisted of what the Squire denominated true old English fare. He indulged in some bitter lamentations over modern breakfasts of tea and toast, which he censured as among the causes of modern effeminacy and weak nerves, and the decline of old English heartiness; and though he admitted them to his table to suit the palates of his guests, yet there was a brave display of cold meats, wine, and ale, on the sideboard. ~Washington Irving, "Christmas Day," The Sketch Book of Geoffrey Crayon, Gent. Vol. II, 1820

Quotes about Meat, Fish, & Seafood

Vegetables are interesting but lack a sense of purpose when unaccompanied by a good cut of meat. ~Fran Lebowitz

Red meat is not bad for you.  Now blue-green meat, that's bad for you!  ~Tommy Smothers

They claim red meat is bad for you.  But I never saw a sick-looking tiger.  ~Chi Chi Rodriguez

My favorite animal is steak. ~Fran Lebowitz

In Mexico we have a word for sushi: bait. ~José Simons

I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead — not sick, not wounded — dead. ~Woody Allen

He was a very valiant man who first adventured on eating oysters. ~James I

The way you cut your meat reflects the way you live. ~Confucius

I take a vitamin every day. It's called a steak. ~Leo Benvenuti and Steve Rudnick, Kicking & Screaming, 2005, spoken by the character Buck Weston

Stored away in some brain cell is the image of a long-departed aunt you haven't thought of in 30 years. Stored away in another cell is the image of a pink pony stitched on your first set of baby pajamas. All it takes to get that aunt mounted on the back of that pony is to eat a hunk of meatloaf immediately before going to bed. ~Robert Brault,

You know how I feel about tacos. It's the only food shaped like a smile. A beef smile. ~Danielle Sanchez-Witzel and Michael Pennie, My Name is Earl, "South of the Border Part Uno/Dos," original airdate 7 December 2006, spoken by the character Earl Hickey

It was a little four-roomed cottage where the boy lived, and his mother—good soul!—gave us hot bacon for supper, and we ate it all—five pounds—and a jam tart afterwards, and two pots of tea, and then we went to bed. ~Jerome K. Jerome, Three Men in a Boat (To Say Nothing of the Dog), 1889

I'm not sure what makes pepperoni so good — if it's the pepper or the oni. ~S.A. Sachs

Yeah, where I come from, we eat our sushi cooked—medium rare. And it's made out of a cow. ~John Henson, Wipeout, "Totally, Totally Inappropriate" (season 3, episode 13), original airdate August 17, 2010

Just bought lean chicken breasts instead of hot wings for supper because I'm a stupid [f@%'ing] mature adult. ~Jason Sweeney (@sween)

Not eating meat is a decision, eating meat is an instinct. ~Denis Leary

Fish is the only food that is considered spoiled once it smells like what it is. ~P.J. O'Rourke

A converted cannibal is one who, on Friday, eats only fishermen. ~Emily Lotney

Fish, to taste right, must swim three times — in water, in butter, and in wine. ~Polish Proverb

If you are a human being, it's in your DNA to want bacon. ~Jan Charles, Restaurant Express, "Battle by the Beach," original airdate 2013 November 24th

Doctors confuse color and chemistry. The white meat of chicken is therefore the essence of a light diet and dark meat is poison. ~Martin H. Fischer (1879–1962)

Pollyanna was carrying calf's-foot jelly to Mrs. Snow to-day.... If it's Monday she's bound ter say she wished 'twas Sunday; and if you take her jelly you're pretty sure ter hear she wanted chicken — but if you did bring her chicken, she'd be jest hankerin' for lamb broth!... or... tripe, or onions... ~Eleanor H. Porter, Pollyanna, 1912  #paleo

Quotes about Soups & Stews

I would like to find a stew that will give me heartburn immediately, instead of at three o'clock in the morning. ~John Barrymore

Chili represents your three stages of matter: solid, liquid, and eventually gas. ~Roseanne, "Don't Make Me Over," May 1992, spoken by character Dan Conner

Worries go down better with soup. ~Jewish Proverb

Chowder breathes reassurance. It steams consolation. ~Clementine Paddleford

A nickel's worth of goulash beats a five dollar can of vitamines. ~Martin H. Fischer (1879–1962)

No, I don't take soup. You can't build a meal on a lake. ~Elsie de Wolfe (Lady Mendl)

Mrs. Jakes had sent up stew and apple pie. "Oh, good," said Miss Marcy. "Stew's so comforting on a rainy day." ~Dodie Smith, I Capture the Castle

Soup is just a way of screwing you out of a meal. ~Jay Leno

If soup isn't hot enough to make a grown man wince, it's undrinkable. ~Terri Guillemets

Soup and fish explain half the emotions of human life. ~Sydney Smith

Soup is liquid comfort. ~Author Unknown

As the days grow short, some faces grow long. But not mine. Every autumn, when the wind turns cold and darkness comes early, I am suddenly happy. It's time to start making soup again. ~Leslie Newman

Quotes about Dairy & Eggs

Hey yogurt, if you're so cultured, how come I never see you at the opera? ~Attributed to Stephen Colbert

Condensed milk is wonderful. I don't see how they can get a cow to sit down on those little cans. ~Fred Allen

Custard: A detestable substance produced by a malevolent conspiracy of the hen, the cow, and the cook. ~Ambrose Bierce

Alas! my child, where is the Pen
That can do justice to the Hen?
Like Royalty, she goes her way,
Laying foundations every day,
Though not for Public Buildings, yet
For Custard, Cake and Omelette....
No wonder, Child, we prize the Hen,
Whose Egg is Mightier than the Pen.
~Oliver Herford, "The Hen"

There's something about getting up at 5 a.m., feeding the stock and chickens, and milking a couple of cows before breakfast that gives you a lifelong respect for the price of butter and eggs. ~Bill Vaughan

Whoever needs milk, bows to the animal. ~Yiddish saying

(For more dairy quotes, see Cows.)

There's no such thing as soy milk. It's just soy juice. ~Lewis Black

Mac and cheese, that's God's best handiwork. ~Bones, "The Glowing Bones in the Old Stone House," original airdate 2007 May 9th, spoken by the character Seeley Booth, writing credits S.Nathan, H.Hanson, K.Reichs, N.Hawley, and K.Rosenthal

Oh. We were thinking Parmesan meant, not "coming from Parma," but "coming from a green shaker can." ~Barbara Kingsolver, "Called Home," Animal, Vegetable, Miracle: A Year of Food Life, 2007

Provided it be well and truly made there is really for the confirmed turophile no such thing as a bad cheese. A cheese may disappoint. It may be dull, it may be naive, it may be oversophisticated. Yet it remains cheese, milk's leap toward immortality. ~Clifton Fadiman, "The Cheese Stands Alone," Any Number Can Play, 1957

Don't forget that the flavors of wine and cheese depend upon the types of infecting microörganisms. ~Martin H. Fischer

Quotes about Nuts & Seeds

Avoid fruit and nuts. You are what you eat. ~Jim Davis

If wishes and buts were clusters of nuts, we'd all have a bowl of granola. ~From Strangers with Candy

O, the joys of nutting! The clusters hang high,
But the crook brings the branches anear...
We strip the bold clusters and set the branch free,
And deem we have all its nuts shaken;
But others pop out 'neath the leaves, we can see,
So we own we are somewhat mistaken.
~James Rigg, "Nutting Time," Wild Flower Lyrics and Other Poems, 1897

Here is a Southerner, graceful and slim,
In flavor no nut is quite equal to him.
Ha, Monsieur Pecan, you know what it means
To be served with black coffee in French New Orleans.
~Pearl Rivers, "Little Nut People," in St. Nicholas, January 1892

To me pecans taste like childhood,
They fell from the family tree.
Sticky leaves, crackling branch wood
Hulling and cracking, we three—
Siblings, nuts in varied degree.
~Terri Guillemets

Quotes about Greens & Salads

Someone has to stand up and say the answer isn't another pill. The answer is spinach. ~Bill Maher, 2007

The colors of a fresh garden salad are so extraordinary, no painter's pallet can duplicate nature's artistry. ~Dr. SunWolf,

Cole's Law: Thinly sliced cabbage. ~Author Unknown

Greens too have a complex history in the South. They were something that people could go and gather after working a long shift at the factory. So although greens were one of the earlier items to be canned and sold, people didn't choose to spend their grocery money on them when they first had money to do so. "Greens can be seen as a protest against the time clock that industrialization introduced," Engelhardt says. "Gathering greens served as a means for both men and women to resist new factory and mine-driven gender roles, as a walk in the woods did not involve company scrip or time clock." ~Vivé Griffith, "You Are What You Eat: Dr. Elizabeth Engelhardt studies how your food choices can carry stories of race, class and culture," 2005

I have no truck with lettuce, cabbage, and similar chlorophyll. Any dietitian will tell you that a running foot of apple strudel contains four times the vitamins of a bushel of beans. ~S.J. Perelman

Lettuce, greens and celery, though much eaten, are worse than cabbage, being equally indigestible without the addition of condiments. Besides, the lettuce contains narcotic properties. It is said of Galen, that he used to obtain from a head of it, eaten on going to bed, all the good effects of a dose of opium. ~William Andrus Alcott, The Young House-keeper: or, Thoughts on Food and Cookery, 1838

Lettuce is like conversation; it must be fresh and crisp, so sparkling that you scarcely notice the bitter in it. ~Charles Dudley Warner

We don't need a melting pot in this country, folks. We need a salad bowl. In a salad bowl, you put in the different things. You want the vegetables — the lettuce, the cucumbers, the onions, the green peppers — to maintain their identity. You appreciate differences. ~Jane Elliot

To make this condiment, your poet begs
The pounded yellow of two hard-boiled eggs;
Let onion atoms lurk within the bowl,
And, half-suspected, animate the whole.
Four times the spoon with oil of Lucca crown,
And twice with vinegar procured from town;
Of mordant mustard add a single spoon,
(Distrust the condiment that bites so soon;)
But deem it not, thou man of herbs, a fault,
To add a double quantity of salt.
And, lastly, o'er the flavored compound toss
A magic-spoon of anchovy sauce.
Oh, green and glorious! Oh, herbaceous treat!...
~Sydney Smith (1771–1845), "Receipt for Dressing Salad"  [A little altered. "Receipt" was the old-timey word for "recipe." —tεᖇᖇ¡·g]

'Twas a good lady, 'twas a good lady: we may pick a thousand salads ere we light on such another herb.” ~William Shakespeare, All's Well That Ends Well [IV, 5, Lafeu]

Welcome to the Church of the Holy Cabbage. Lettuce pray. ~Author Unknown

If you don't know what's meant by God, watch a forsythia branch or a lettuce leaf sprout. ~Martin H. Fischer (1879–1962)

Divine Providence has spread her table everywhere, not with a juiceless green carpet, but with succulent herbage and nourishing grass, upon which most beasts feed. ~Thomas More

A golfer's diet: live on greens as much as possible. ~Author Unknown

She is fond of greens who kisses the gardener. ~Author Unknown

Beauty isn't something on the outside. It's your insides that count! You gotta eat green stuff to make sure you're pretty on the inside. ~Animal Crossing: Wild World (Nintendo video game) written by Takayuki Ikkaku, Arisa Hosaka, and Toshihiro Kawabata

Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon. ~Doug Larson

Growing up, my mom made dinner every night. Usually this would be a large salad with kale, carrots, tomatoes, cucumbers, all organic of course, and sometimes she'd sprinkle nuts on top for texture. Kale has a metallic taste, like chewing on the hood of a Mercedes. No, something safer, like a Volvo. ~Jarod Kintz, Gosh, I probably shouldn't publish this

Verses of veggies
poems of fruit
dotted with seeds
raw green rhymes
in melodious bodies
~Terri Guillemets

Our bodies run on the fresh green fuel of the land. ~Terri Guillemets

According to the latest authorities spring fever, the cause of so much loss of energy, can be prevented by homemakers if they will feed their families in the winter season with plenty of green vegetables. ~Richard Gay Neville, M.D., "Spring Fever," The Forecast, 1921

Green leafy happiness and cherry-red life, bursting with seeds. ~Terri Guillemets

Greens feed our souls, refresh our minds, and nourish our grateful bodies. ~Terri Guillemets

For happy health, fuel yourself with dreams and greens. ~Terri Guillemets

Green tastes like life, feels like energy, looks like peacefulness, smells like earth's love, sounds like vibrant health (your body listens well). Eat your greens, go wild for greens, play in green, weave green into your colorful daily existence! ~Terri Guillemets

Quotes on Sauces, Garlic, Onion, Herbs, Condiments, & Ingredients

Practice safe eating — always use condiments. ~Author Unknown

I don't think America will have really made it until we have our own salad dressing. Until then we're stuck behind the French, Italians, Russians and Caesarians. ~Pat McNelis

A nickel will get you on the subway, but garlic will get you a seat. ~Old New York Proverb

This is every cook's opinion -
no savory dish without an onion,
but lest your kissing should be spoiled
your onions must be fully boiled.
~Jonathan Swift

You are what you eat. For example, if you eat garlic you're apt to be a hermit. ~Franklin P. Jones

When I add a spoon of honey to my tea, I give thanks to a dozen bees for the work of their whole lives. When my finger sweeps the final drop of sweetness from the jar, I know we've enjoyed the nectar from over a million flowers. This is what honey is: the souls of flowers, a food to please the gods. Honeyeaters know that to have a joyful heart one must live life like the bees, sipping the sweet nectar from each moment as it blooms. And Life, like the world of honey, has its enchantments and stings.... ~Ingrid Goff-Maidoff, "The Honey Sutras"

Studies find top 3 most stressful moments in people's lives: death, divorce, and properly pronouncing "Worcestershire sauce." ~Tony Hsieh

      We tackled the cold beef for lunch, and then we found that we had forgotten to bring any mustard. I don't think I ever in my life, before or since, felt I wanted mustard as badly as I felt I wanted it then. I don't care for mustard as a rule, and it is very seldom that I take it at all, but I would have given worlds for it then.
      I don't know how many worlds there may be in the universe, but anyone who had brought me a spoonful of mustard at the precise moment could have had them all. I grow reckless like that when I want a thing and can't get it....
      It cast a gloom over the boat, there being no mustard. We ate our beef in silence. ~Jerome K. Jerome, Three Men in a Boat (To Say Nothing of the Dog), 1889

Salt looks like sugar. ~Proverb  [Be careful who you trust. —tεᖇᖇ¡·g]

Life is an onion and one cries while peeling it. ~French Proverb

Most of the food allergies die under garlic and onion. ~Martin H. Fischer (1879–1962)

There is no such thing as a little garlic. ~A. Baer

What is stronger than a mother's love? The smell of spring onions on your girl's breath. ~Four Hundred Laughs: Or, Fun Without Vulgarity, compiled and edited by John R. Kemble, 1902

Mints. Do you want your breath to be acceptable for 15 minutes? Reach for mints. It's like brushing your teeth — but with sugar. ~Saturday Night Live, "Weekend Update," 2016 October 1st [Kenan Thompson spoofing David Ortiz; writing credits Kelly, Schneider, Kocher, McElhaney, Bartlett, Drezen, Bornstein, Bradley, Torres]

Quotes about Spicy Foods & Hot Peppers

Hot? Those things? They are for children. For nursing children. And furias are for growing boys. They'll wake you up all right, and put fire in your blood. But listen, my friend, I'm a hot-pepper man. And when I say hot-pepper man, I mean hot-pepper man. ~James Street (1903–1954), "The Grains of Paradise"  [a little altered; character Cordell Hoyle speaking —tεᖇᖇ¡·g]

We got married in a fever hotter than a pepper sprout. ~June Carter Cash

They have hot peppers in Louisiana. Little red devils with fire in their skin and hell in their seeds. ~James Street (1903–1954), "The Grains of Paradise"

You can tell how long a couple has been married by whether they are on their first, second or third bottle of Tabasco. ~Bruce Bye

Philosophers have often looked for the defining feature of humans — language, rationality, culture, and so on. I'd stick with this: Man is the only animal that likes Tabasco sauce. ~Paul Bloom, How Pleasure Works: The New Science of Why We Like What We Like

But they do not eat hot peppers in the United States. Here and there, yes. But hot peppers there are weak peppers here. ~James Street (1903–1954), "The Grains of Paradise"  [Village of Feliz, Tabasco, México, "nine hundred miles from nowhere." —tεᖇᖇ¡·g]

The U.S. palate now understands spicy. ~Lynn Dornblaser, quoted in "Food Trends," White Hutchinson Leisure & Learning Group, 2006 January 3rd

I was warm inside from the beer and peppers, and felt chipper for the first time in weeks. ~James Street (1903–1954), "The Grains of Paradise"

This is the kind of plant that endears itself to a teenage boy. These weren't vegetables, they were weapons! And it was legal to grow them. ~James Gorman, about hot peppers (habaneros), "A Perk of Our Evolution: Pleasure in Pain of Chilies," New York Times, September 20, 2010

There were green infernos and green terrors, yellow jackets and yellow furies, red torrids and red frenzies. ~James Street (1903–1954), "The Grains of Paradise"

We don't like spicy food. Once we found red fang-shaped fruit among the cargo of a shipwreck. We ate it and regretted it loud and long! ~Isuna Hasekura

I was looking forward to some real Capsicums, fresh from the bush and oozing their pungent piperine. ~James Street (1903–1954), "The Grains of Paradise"  [a little altered —tεᖇᖇ¡·g]

I'm sorry, was this chicken seasoned with molten lava? ~Psych, "Bollywood Homicide," 2009, written by Steve Franks and Anupam Nigam, spoken by the character Shawn Spencer

My lips stung and the lining of my mouth was hot with quick and then prickling stings. I had taken two red frenzies, and without sweat, without the hard blowing of the breath. Then a red torrid. My lips had hardened to the sting, but my mouth was ridging inside. Then the tingle was in my throat and deep down. Now a greenish yellow fury. I felt the sweat ooze out on the back of my neck, down under my collar. I was hurting, the numbing burn of piperine, a crystalline alkaloid that tightens the tissues like wet rawhide. Each minute got longer. Next, a green buster. The heat seared down to my belly. ~James Street (1903–1954), "The Grains of Paradise"  [a little altered —tεᖇᖇ¡·g]

It's like spicy food — sometimes you have to tone it down so more people can enjoy it. ~Kenneth Edmonds

I would think wolves would prefer spicy things. It's bears that crave sweets. ~Isuna Hasekura

Amomum melegueta! I had never seen a whole one before. The spice trade calls them Guinea peppers. Such little nuggets launched armadas in the old days, sails from Spain and Portugal. Men died for those peppers as for gold and glory. They are the hottest things that grow and their seeds are praised as the grains of paradise. ~James Street (1903–1954), "The Grains of Paradise"

The good man suffers but to gain,
And every virtue springs from pain;
As aromatic plants bestow
No spicy fragrance while they grow;
But crush'd or trodden to the ground,
Diffuse their balmy sweets around.
~Oliver Goldsmith

According to my mother, there pretty much wasn't anything I wouldn't eat as a child.... I was even inclined to dig into stuff about which she expressed open disgust... cheap Chinese food with pepper so hot it made your gums feel like a medieval dentist had been at them. ~Alice Dreger

Hilario Villareal is the best pepper man in Feliz. He eats furias for breakfast. With beer. He grows his own peppers and has a secret. He wet-rots leaves for his plants and grows them on a south slope that is sheltered on three sides. And in the dry season he waters them from a bucket. I tell you to have respect for his peppers. His soil is very sour and his peppers are very hot. ~James Street (1903–1954), "The Grains of Paradise"  [a little altered; character Tio Felipe Ignacio de Fuestes speaking —tεᖇᖇ¡·g]

Quotes about Unhealthy Foods

Marcie:  How can you pig-out on all that junk food every day, sir?
Peppermint Patty:  Life is more than carrot sticks, Marcie.
~Charles Schulz, Peanuts, 1979 May 2nd

The adulteration of food and drinks has become almost as general as the use of the article itself. Scarcely an article used by men in civilized countries has escaped this process, where it was possible to unite some cheaper substance with it. Flour, coffee, tea, sugar, butter and a hundred other articles that undergo this adulteration process. The methods have been so often exposed, that the public are tolerably acquainted with the manipulations these substances undergo at the hands of experts. ~"What We Eat," Gleason's Monthly Companion, April 1879, Vol. VIII, No. 4

If we're not willing to settle for junk living, we certainly shouldn't settle for junk food. ~Sally Edwards

We think fast food is equivalent to pornography, nutritionally speaking. ~Steve Elbert

High-tech tomatoes. Mysterious milk. Supersquash. Are we supposed to eat this stuff? Or is it going to eat us? ~Annita Manning

Chemicals, n: Noxious substances from which modern foods are made. ~Author unknown

It would be nice if the Food and Drug Administration stopped issuing warnings about toxic substances and just gave me the names of one or two things still safe to eat. ~Robert Fuoss

You can't expect to look like a million bucks if you eat from the dollar menu. ~Author unknown

You can do a lot for your diet by eliminating foods that have mascots. ~Ted Spiker

Inside our bodies, junk food converts into chaos. ~Terri Guillemets

Good food ain't cheap, and cheap food ain't good. ~Author unknown

You can say this for ready-mixes — the next generation isn't going to have any trouble making pies exactly like mother used to make. ~Earl Wilson

We are living in a world today where lemonade is made from artificial flavors and furniture polish is made from real lemons. ~Alfred E. Newman

Nobody seems more obsessed by diet than our anti-materialistic, otherworldly, New Age spiritual types. But if the material world is merely illusion, an honest guru should be as content with Budweiser and bratwurst as with raw carrot juice, tofu and seaweed slime. ~Edward Abbey

The breakfast slimes, angel food cake, doughnuts and coffee, white bread and gravy cannot build an enduring nation. ~Martin H. Fischer (1879–1962)

This country is just beginning to feel that it is at war. The sugar shortage is one of the greatest blessings that ever happened to the people of this country, and if it will have done nothing better than to teach us that we can do without sugar, the war will have paid for itself.... The Lord never intended the child to develop a sweet tooth. He knew it would be a bad tooth.... Sugar is the curse of this country. ~Harvey W. Wiley, "The Teeth in War Time," 1918 January 27th, delivered at the Free Public Health Lecture Course of the Forsyth Dental Infirmary for Children  ["It does not matter if we eat unrefined sugar. It is the best sugar in the world. I do not care what the American Refining Company says in page advertisements." Ibid. —tεᖇᖇ¡·g]

Everything I eat has been proved by some doctor or other to be a deadly poison, and everything I don't eat has been proved to be indispensable for life. But I go marching on. ~George Bernard Shaw

You can find your way across this country using burger joints the way a navigator uses stars. ~Charles Kuralt

Anyhow, the hole in the doughnut is at least digestible. ~H.L. Mencken

The inventor of soda crackers has a place in hell. ~Martin H. Fischer (1879–1962)

For as nutrition is the best friend a human body ever has, so its worst enemy is stimulation. ~Dr. James C. Jackson, speech, May 1885, to the patients at Our Home on the Hillside

As for butter versus margarine, I trust cows more than chemists. ~Joan Gussow

If it came from a plant, eat it. If it was made in a plant, don't. ~Michael Pollan

Don't eat anything your great-grandmother wouldn't recognize as food. ~Michael Pollan

If you don't recognize an ingredient, your body won't either. ~Author unknown

We don't need a law against McDonald's or a law against slaughterhouse abuse — we ask for too much salvation by legislation. All we need to do is empower individuals with the right philosophy and the right information to opt out en masse. ~Joel Salatin

[W]henever I hear people say clean food is expensive, I tell them it's actually the cheapest food you can buy. That always gets their attention. Then I explain that with our food all of the costs are figured into the price. Society is not bearing the cost of water pollution, of antibiotic resistance, of food-borne illnesses, of crop subsidies, of subsidized oil and water — of all the hidden costs to the environment and the taxpayer that make cheap food seem cheap. No thinking person will tell you they don't care about all that. I tell them the choice is simple: You can buy honestly priced food or you can buy irresponsibly priced food. ~Joel Salatin

Tyler turned down the candy because it would make him run slower. ~Chris Powell/Ashley Hylton, Extreme Makeover: Weight Loss Edition

If organic farming is the natural way, shouldn't organic produce just be called "produce" and make the pesticide-laden stuff take the burden of an adjective? ~Terri Guillemets

If you plant junk food in your body garden, how do you expect to harvest health? ~Terri Guillemets

One simply does not drive home from McDonald's without eating any fries. ~Internet meme

      We come now to our own land, with which from the cheese-lover's viewpoint we may merge our good neighbor Canada. A Rembrandtesque picture presents itself, a dramatic mingling of light and shade.
      The blackest shadow, of course, is cast by processed "cheese." The word should always, like Soviet "democracy," be framed in quotes, for no matter what the law may say, I refuse to call this cheese.... It represents the triumph of technology over conscience....
      Bernard Shaw once warned us (he was speaking of mass entertainment) to be sure to get what we liked; otherwise we might begin to like what we got. There is the point—not that processed "cheese" is so bad in itself (though it is) but that its convenience, neatness, and cheapness give it so many advantages that it may elbow real cheese aside and in the end compass the death of our cheese-palates. Let us not be fooled. My guinea-pig son, aged one year and seven months, was not: fed a "cheese spread," he spat it out; fed a tiny bit of Stilton he took to it like an angel. Give our American children the processed corpse of milk and they will grow (I dare not say mature) into processed men, all package and no character.
      ~Clifton Fadiman, "The Cheese Stands Alone," Any Number Can Play, 1957

Related Quotations:  Cooking & BakingEatingDessertsDietingCoffeeTeaVegetarianismHealthExerciseBodyGardening & FarmingEnvironmentNatureLaborGratitudeAlcoholBeerWine

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