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The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off. ~Abe Lemons


When a man retires, his wife gets twice the husband but only half the income. ~Chi Chi Rodriguez


A retired husband is often a wife's full-time job. ~Ella Harris


Retired is being twice tired, I've thought
First tired of working,
Then tired of not.
~Richard Armour


Retirement: It's nice to get out of the rat race, but you have to learn to get along with less cheese. ~Gene Perret


I'm retired — goodbye tension, hello pension! ~Author Unknown


Retirement: World's longest coffee break. ~Author Unknown


O, blest retirement! friend to life's decline -
How blest is he who crowns, in shades like these,
A youth of labor with an age of ease!
~Oliver Goldsmith


Middle age is when work is a lot less fun and fun is a lot more work. ~Author Unknown


Life begins at retirement. ~Author Unknown


Retirement can be a great joy if you can figure out how to spend time without spending money. ~Author Unknown


If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there'd be a shortage of fishing poles. ~Doug Larson


Retirement is wonderful. It's doing nothing without worrying about getting caught at it. ~Gene Perret


There are some who start their retirement long before they stop working. ~Robert Half


Rest is not idleness, and to lie sometimes on the grass under the trees on a summer's day, listening to the murmur of water, or watching the clouds float across the blue sky, is by no means waste of time. ~John Lubbock, "Recreation," The Use of Life, 1894


When you retire, think and act as if you were still working; when you're still working, think and act a bit as if you were already retired. ~Author Unknown


The question isn't at what age I want to retire, it's at what income. ~George Foreman


Retirement means no pressure, no stress, no heartache... unless you play golf. ~Gene Perret


Golf is played by twenty million mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun. ~Jim Bishop


Don't play too much golf. Two rounds a day are plenty. ~Harry Vardon


The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before the boss does. ~Author Unknown


Don't simply retire from something; have something to retire to. ~Harry Emerson Fosdick


I'm now as free as the breeze — with roughly the same income. ~Gene Perret


Have you ever been out for a late autumn walk in the closing part of the afternoon, and suddenly looked up to realize that the leaves have practically all gone? You hadn't realized it. And you notice that the sun has set already, the day gone before you knew it — and with that a cold wind blows across the landscape. That's retirement. ~Stephen Leacock


Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save. ~Will Rogers, Autobiography, 1949


The thing to do is to make so much money that you don't have to work after the age of twenty-seven. In case this is impracticable, stop work at the earliest possible moment, even if it is at a quarter past eleven on the morning of the day when you find you do have enough money. ~Robert Benchley


When you retire, you switch bosses — from the one who hired you to the one who married you. ~Gene Perret


When men reach their sixties and retire, they go to pieces. Women go right on cooking. ~Gail Sheehy


There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want. ~Bill Watterson, Calvin and Hobbes


"Retirement has been a discovery of beauty for me," Hartman said in sudden seriousness. "I never felt that I had the time before to notice the true beauty of my grandkids, my wife, the tree outside my very own front door. And, the beauty of time itself." ~Terri Guillemets


Retirement without the love of letters is a living burial. ~Seneca


Age is only a number, a cipher for the records. A man can't retire his experience. He must use it. ~Bernard Baruch


When a man retires and time is no longer a matter of urgent importance, his colleagues generally present him with a watch. ~R.C. Sherriff


Don't underestimate the value of Doing Nothing, of just going along, listening to all the things you can't hear, and not bothering. ~Pooh's Little Instruction Book, inspired by A.A. Milne


Retirement is having nothing to do and someone always keeping you from it. ~Robert Brault, rbrault.blogspot.com


Retire from work, but not from life. ~M.K. Soni


Hartman finished his speech with a toast: "I'm not just retiring from the company, I'm also retiring from my stress, my commute, my alarm clock, and my steam iron..." ~Terri Guillemets


Sometimes it's important to work for that pot of gold. But other times it's essential to take time off and to make sure that your most important decision in the day simply consists of choosing which color to slide down on the rainbow. ~Douglas Pagels, These Are the Gifts I'd Like to Give to You


There must be quite a few things that a hot bath won't cure, but I don't know many of them. ~Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar


I enjoy waking up and not having to go to work. So I do it three or four times a day. ~Gene Perret


In retirement, every day is Boss Day and every day is Employee Appreciation Day. ~Terri Guillemets


Retirement is like a long vacation in Vegas. The goal is to enjoy these years to the fullest, but not so fully that you run out of money. ~Jonathan Clements, "Playing the Right Cards For a Long Retirement," The Wall Street Journal, November 1999


I try to treat each evening and weekend as little slices of retirement because no one is guaranteed a lengthy one at the end of their career. ~Mike Hammar


Retire? That's ridiculous. What does it for you is to have something to get up for in the morning. Now, they say, you should retire at 70. When I was 70, I still had pimples. ~George Burns, 1978


You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely. ~Ogden Nash


Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life. ~Herbert Asquith


Retirement is the ugliest word in the language. ~Ernest Hemingway


Golf is a day spent in a round of strenuous idleness. ~William Wordsworth


First you forget names; then you forget faces; then you forget to zip up your fly; and then you forget to unzip your fly. ~Branch Rickey


In my retirement I go for a short swim at least once or twice every day. It's either that or buy a new golf ball. ~Gene Perret


The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing. ~Phyllis Diller


If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt. ~Dean Martin


If you are going to throw a club, it is important to throw it ahead of you, down the fairway, so you don't have to waste energy going back to pick it up. ~Tommy Bolt


Retirement kills more people than hard work ever did. ~Malcolm Forbes


There are days in retirement that are the waking equivalent of a dreamless sleep, if you know what I mean. ~Robert Brault, rbrault.blogspot.com


The money's no better in retirement but the hours are! ~Terri Guillemets


Retirement: That's when you return from work one day and say, "Hi, Honey, I'm home — forever." ~Gene Perret

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