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It's a funny kind of month, October.  For the really keen... fan it's when you discover that your wife left you in May.  ~Denis Norden (actually, it's a quote about cricket)


It's hard to win a pennant, but it's harder losing one.  ~Chuck Tanner


When we played, World Series checks meant something.  Now all they do is screw up your taxes.  ~Don Drysdale, 1978


What does a mama bear on the pill have in common with the World Series?  No cubs.  ~Harry Caray


If the World Series runs until election day, the networks will run the first one-half inning and project the winner.  ~Lindsey Nelson


There are three things in my life which I really love:  God, my family, and baseball.  The only problem - once baseball season starts, I change the order around a bit.  ~Al Gallagher, 1971


People ask me what I do in winter when there's no baseball.  I'll tell you what I do.  I stare out the window and wait for spring.  ~Rogers Hornsby


You see, you spend a good piece of your life gripping a baseball, and in the end it turns out that it was the other way around all the time.  ~Jim Bouton, Ball Four, 1970


A hot dog at the ball park is better than steak at the Ritz.  ~Humphrey Bogart


With those who don't give a damn about baseball, I can only sympathize.  I do not resent them.  I am even willing to concede that many of them are physically clean, good to their mothers and in favor of world peace.  But while the game is on, I can't think of anything to say to them.  ~Art Hill


Baseball is a harbor, a seclusion from failure that really matters, a playful utopia in which virtuosity can be savored to the third decimal place of a batting average.  ~Mark Kramer


What is both surprising and delightful is that spectators are allowed, and even expected, to join in the vocal part of the game.... There is no reason why the field should not try to put the batsman off his stroke at the critical moment by neatly timed disparagements of his wife's fidelity and his mother's respectability.  ~George Bernard Shaw


I'm convinced that every boy, in his heart, would rather steal second base than an automobile.  ~Tom Clark


You gotta be a man to play baseball for a living, but you gotta have a lot of little boy in you, too.  ~Roy Campanella


I see great things in baseball.  It's our game - the American game.  It will take our people out-of-doors, fill them with oxygen, give them a larger physical stoicism.  Tend to relieve us from being a nervous, dyspeptic set.  Repair these losses, and be a blessing to us.  ~Walt Whitman


Baseball is a game where a curve is an optical illusion, a screwball can be a pitch or a person, stealing is legal and you can spit anywhere you like except in the umpire's eye or on the ball.  ~Jim Murray


Good pitching will beat good hitting any time, and vice versa.  ~Bob Veale, 1966


Baseball players are smarter than football players.  How often do you see a baseball team penalized for too many men on the field?  ~Jim Bouton, 1988


Say this much for big league baseball - it is beyond question the greatest conversation piece ever invented in America.  ~Bruce Catton


The charm of baseball is that, dull as it may be on the field, it is endlessly fascinating as a rehash.  ~Jim Murray


It breaks your heart.  It is designed to break your heart.  The game begins in spring, when everything else begins again, and it blossoms in the summer, filling the afternoons and evenings, and then as soon as the chill rains come, it stops and leaves you to face the fall alone.  ~A. Bartlett Giamatti, "The Green Fields of the Mind," Yale Alumni Magazine, November 1977


Baseball is almost the only orderly thing in a very unorderly world.  If you get three strikes, even the best lawyer in the world can't get you off.  ~Bill Veeck


Baseball is the only place in life where a sacrifice is really appreciated.  ~Author Unknown


Ideally, the umpire should combine the integrity of a Supreme Court judge, the physical agility of an acrobat, the endurance of Job and the imperturbability of Buddha.  ~"The Villains in Blue," Time magazine, 25 August 1961


I've come to the conclusion that the two most important things in life are good friends and a good bullpen.  ~Bob Lemon, 1981


You can't sit on a lead and run a few plays into the line and just kill the clock.  You've got to throw the ball over the goddamn plate and give the other man his chance.  That's why baseball is the greatest game of them all.  ~Earl Weaver


It's no coincidence that female interest in the sport of baseball has increased greatly since the ballplayers swapped those wonderful old-time baggy flannel uniforms for leotards.  ~Mike Royko


Baseball is an allegorical play about America, a poetic, complex, and subtle play of courage, fear, good luck, mistakes, patience about fate, and sober self-esteem.  ~Saul Steinberg


The pitcher has to find out if the hitter is timid.  And if the hitter is timid, he has to remind the hitter he's timid.  ~Don Drysdale, quoted in New York Times, 9 July 1979


It ain't like football.  You can't make up no trick plays.  ~Yogi Berra


A baseball fan has the digestive apparatus of a billy goat.  He can, and does, devour any set of diamond statistics with insatiable appetite and then nuzzles hungrily for more.  ~Arthur Daley


Baseball is not necessarily an obsessive-compulsive disorder, like washing your hands 100 times a day, but it's beginning to seem that way.  We're reaching the point where you can be a truly dedicated, state-of-the-art fan or you can have a life.  Take your pick.  ~Thomas Boswell, Washington Post, 13 April 1990


This is a game to be savored, not gulped.  There's time to discuss everything between pitches or between innings.  ~Bill Veeck


A critic once characterized baseball as six minutes of action crammed into two-and-one-half hours.  ~Ray Fitzgerald, in Boston Glove, 1970


I don't know why people like the home run so much.  A home run is over as soon as it starts.... The triple is the most exciting play of the game.  A triple is like meeting a woman who excites you, spending the evening talking and getting more excited, then taking her home.  It drags on and on.  You're never sure how it's going to turn out.  ~George Foster, 1978


Baseball is a game dominated by vital ghosts; it's a fraternity, like no other we have of the active and the no longer so, the living and the dead.  ~Richard Gilman


The other sports are just sports.  Baseball is a love.  ~Bryant Gumbel, 1981


There have been only two geniuses in the world.  Willie Mays and Willie Shakespeare.  ~Tallulah Bankhead


Baseball fans love numbers.  They love to swirl them around their mouths like Bordeaux wine.  ~Pat Conroy


Baseball?  It's just a game - as simple as a ball and a bat.  Yet, as complex as the American spirit it symbolizes.  It's a sport, business - and sometimes even religion.  ~Ernie Harwell, "The Game for All America," 1955


Why does everybody stand up and sing "Take Me Out to the Ballgame" when they're already there?  ~Larry Anderson


All requests for leave of absence on account of grandmother's funeral, sore throat, housecleaning, lame back, turning of the ringer, headaches, brain storm, cousin's wedding, general ailments or other legitimate excuses must be made out and handed to the boss not later than 10 a.m. on the morning of the game.  ~Traditional gag notice hung in offices and factories at a time period when all games were played during daylight hours


Baseball is reassuring.  It makes me feel as if the world is not going to blow up.  ~Sharon Olds, This Sporting Life, 1987


A game of great charm in the adoption of mathematical measurements to the timing of human movements, the exactitudes and adjustments of physical ability to hazardous chance.  The speed of the legs, the dexterity of the body, the grace of the swing, the elusiveness of the slide - these are the features that make Americans everywhere forget the last syllable of a man's last name or the pigmentation of his skin.  ~Branch Rickey, May 1960


Ninety feet between home plate and first base may be the closest man has ever come to perfection.  ~Red Smith


Baseball, it is said, is only a game.  True.  And the Grand Canyon is only a hole in Arizona.  ~George F. Will, Men at Work: The Craft of Baseball, 1990


They are supposed to be dispassionate dispensers of Pure Justice, icy islands of emotionless calculation.  In short, umpires should be acute Republicans.  ~George F. Will, 1990


Baseball is a ballet without music.  Drama without words.  ~Ernie Harwell, "The Game for All America," 1955


Baseball statistics are like a girl in a bikini.  They show a lot, but not everything.  ~Toby Harrah, 1983


Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat.  Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound.  Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together.  Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again.  ~Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby, 1968


Baseball is the only game left for people.  To play basketball, you have to be 7 feet 6 inches.  To play football, you have to be the same width.  ~Bill Veeck, 1975


Baseball is drama with an endless run and an ever-changing cast.  ~Joe Garagiola, Baseball is a Funny Game


Most games are lost, not won.  ~Casey Stengel


England and America should scrap cricket and baseball and come up with a new game that they both can play.  Like baseball, for example.  ~Robert Benchley

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