The Quote Garden ™
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Quotations about Candy
Welcome to my page of quotations about candy. My mouth waters just thinking about fruit chews, hot cinnamons, red licorice, the butterscotch hard candies in crinkly wrappers that my grandmother used to hand me during church — and peppermints, taffy, cotton candy, lemon drops, caramels, buttermints, the sweets and tarts and sours. Yum! It's no chocolate, mind you, but awesome deliciousness for when you're craving a little sugar high. –ღTerri
Mike Teavee: Why is everything here completely pointless?
Charlie Bucket: Candy doesn't have to have a point. That's why it's candy.
~Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, 2005, based on book by Roald Dahl, 1964, screenplay by John August
Cotton candy is the most amazing form of caramelization ever invented by man. ~José Andrés, to Anderson Cooper, 60 Minutes, 2010
Candy power! ~Mr. Willy Wonka (Roald Dahl, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, 1964)
All the time I was striving to be a man amongst men, and all the time I nursed secret and shameful desires for candy... I used to indulge in lonely debauches... I would go up to the Free Library, exchange my books, buy a quarter's worth of all sorts of candy that chewed and lasted, sneak aboard the Razzle Dazzle, lock myself in the cabin, go to bed, and lie there long hours of bliss, reading and chewing candy. And those were the only times I felt that I got my real money's worth. Dollars and dollars, across the bar, couldn't buy the satisfaction that twenty-five cents did in a candy store. ~Jack London, John Barleycorn, or Alcoholic Memoirs, 1914
Did you notice how her hair smells like fruit? Not the real fruit but the good kind, like in candy. ~The Middle, "The Core Group," 2016, written by Ilana Wernick [S8, E1, Axl to Frankie about his girlfriend April –tg]
~Ogden Nash, "Reflection on Ice-Breaking," Hard Lines, 1931
You can tell a lot about a fellow's character by his way of eating jelly beans. ~Ronald Reagan, in The New York Times, 1981
I'm like a candy cane — sweet and twisted. ~Internet meme, c. 2012
I found abundance of candy in my stocking, which I do not think has had the anticipated effect upon my disposition, in case it was to sweeten it... ~Emily Dickinson, 1846
Mints. Do you want your breath to be acceptable for 15 minutes? Reach for mints. It's like brushing your teeth — but with sugar. ~“Weekend Update,” Saturday Night Live, 2016 [Kenan Thompson spoofing David Ortiz. Writing credits: Kelly, Schneider, Kocher, McElhaney, Bartlett, Drezen, Bornstein, Bradley, & Torres –tg]
November means 50% off Halloween candy! ~Internet meme, c. 2013
Morning after Halloween: I'm never eating candy again.
An hour later: Oh look, candy!
He is a nice old man and gave me a handful of pink peppermints. Peppermints always seem to me such a religious sort of candy. — I suppose because when I was a little girl Grandmother Gordon always gave them to me in church. Once I asked, referring to the smell of peppermints, 'Is that the odour of sanctity?' I didn't like to eat Uncle Mark's peppermints because he just fished them loose out of his pocket, and had to pick some rusty nails and other things from among them before he gave them to me. But I wouldn't hurt his dear old feelings for anything, so I carefully sowed them along the road at intervals. When the last one was gone, Uncle Mark said, a little rebukingly, 'Ye shouldn't a'et all them candies to onct, Miss Phil. You'll likely have the stummick-ache.' ~L. M. Montgomery, Anne of the Island, 1915
Sheldon: Milk Duds®, with their self-deprecating name and remarkably mild flavor, are the most apologetic of the boxed candies...
Raj: Junior Mints® are pretty apologetic.
Sheldon: You’re embarrassing yourself.
~The Big Bang Theory, "The Justice League Recombination," 2010, written by Bill Prady, Steven Molaro, & Steve Holland [S4, E11]
Well, who's gonna turn down a Junior Mint®? It's chocolate, it's peppermint, it's delicious... It's very refreshing! ~Seinfeld, "The Junior Mint," 1993, written by Andy Robin [S4, E20, Kramer]
There are twelve Scout laws, and the one I like best is law number eight, because it says a Scout has to be cheerful and smile a lot... Also, a Scout is always supposed to do a given task. His dinner is a given task. He's supposed to do a good turn every day. Maybe you think those are hard, but they are easy. If a Scout in my patrol had some gumdrops and I ate half of them so he wouldn't get sick, that would be a good turn. See? ~Percy Keese Fitzhugh, Roy Blakeley: Lost, Strayed or Stolen, 1921 [a little altered —tg]
They produce candy of a most superior kind and quality. The candy they make is like themselves. That is all we can do anyway — reproduce ourselves. Your work is a broken off piece of your own spiritual estate. If there are sleazy strands in the warp and woof of your character, they will reappear in the woven fabric. Everything we make, we manufacture right out of our hearts. ~Elbert Hubbard, "Mary Elizabeth"
What I really liked in those days was candy. For five cents I could buy five "cannon-balls" — big lumps of the most delicious lastingness. I could chew and worry a single one for an hour. Then there was a Mexican who sold big slabs of brown chewing taffy for five cents each. It required a quarter of a day to properly absorb one of them. And many a day I made my entire lunch off one of those slabs. ~Jack London, John Barleycorn, or Alcoholic Memoirs, 1914
If your sweet tooth says candy, your wisdom tooth says Cerreta.® ~Cerreta Candy Company, 1972, Glendale, Arizona, cerreta.com
If love writes all the good books, sings all the songs, covers the canvas with harmonious color, and liberates beauty from the marble block, why may it not make candy and do business! I think it can and does. The more love you work up into life the better for you and better for the world. ~Elbert Hubbard, "Mary Elizabeth"
Peter is such a candy freak. I knew he'd stay our all night if he could... This was his biggest night of the year. Bigger than Christmas. When he got home, he'd turn the shopping bag over on his rug and dump out all the candy. Then he'd sort it for hours, making piles of one candy bar and then another. He's so totally mental. Sometimes when he was smaller he'd actually roll on his back in his Halloween candy, like a dog. ~R.L. Stine, Goosebumps Hall of Horrors: Night of the Giant Everything, 2011
I'm a great lover of visual art and I will happily discuss the color and texture of Van Gogh's Starry Night... But I can think of nothing on earth so beautiful as the final haul on Halloween night, which, for me, was ten to fifteen pounds of candy, a riot of colored wrappers and hopeful fonts, snub-nosed chocolate bars and SweeTARTS, the seductive rattle of Jujyfruits and Good & Plenty and lollipop sticks all akimbo, the foil ends of mini LifeSavers packs twinkling like dimes, and a thick sugary perfume rising up from the pillowcase.
And more so, the pleasure of pouring out the contents onto the rug in the TV room, of cataloging the take according to a strict Freak Hierarchy, calling for all chocolate products to be immediately quarantined, sorted, and closely guarded, with higher-quality fruit chews and caramels next, then hard candies, and last of all anything organic (the loathsome raisins). A brief period of barter with my brothers might ensue. For the most part, I simply lay amid my trove and occasionally massed the candy into a pile which I could sort of dive into, à la Scrooge McDuck and his gold ducats.
~Steve Almond, "Night of the Living Freak," Candyfreak: A Journey through the Chocolate Underbelly of America, 2004
I tell you... that girl is a young woman of remarkable strength of character... a girl of firmness and the courage of her convictions... she carried a box of candy home the other day without opening it. ~America, 1889
They were men. They proved it by the way they drank. Drink was the badge of manhood. So I drank with them, drink by drink, raw and straight, though the damned stuff couldn't compare with a stick of chewing taffy or a delectable "cannon-ball." I shuddered and swallowed my gorge with every drink, though I manfully hid all such symptoms. ~Jack London, John Barleycorn, or Alcoholic Memoirs, 1914
I'd stop, when I was but a toddling child,
At every candy store, and through the glass
Would gaze, until my infant soul grew wild,
On piles of taffy and red sassafras!
I sooner would have owned some candy mixed,
Than twenty penny marbles or two tops!
And I remember how I stood transfixed
Before those godlike things called lemon drops!
Nougat, molasses, liquorice, or horehound
Always would make me most supremely glad,
And seeing them, in ecstasy profound,
I envied camels that five stomachs had!
As I grew older, candy was my saint,
My love, religion, life, and second sense;
Before a peanut angel I grew faint
I knew by name the sugar-Presidents!
Oh, happy age of twelve, when, without stint,
I gorged as never did Olympian Jove!
One endless bacchanal of peppermint!
One dream of cinnamon, one heaven of clove!
Years passed, I grew to be a man forsooth,
Sole arbiter of my delightful life,
And though I did not own one healthy tooth,
I found myself a candy-loving wife.
We always have, when we sit down to dine,
Nice liquorice steaks with yellow jujube sauce;
And taffy cutlets, cooked in honied wine,
And frizzled fruit-drops for the second course.
Such are the meals that we most pleasant find.
Sometimes for change we try maraschino cake
Or sticky rich caramels of the chocolate kind.
Our numerous children have the stomach-ache.
~Cupid Jones (Francis Saltus Saltus, 1849–1889), "Too Sweet for Anything" [a little altered —tg]
How delightful to let the fancy revel on the dainties of a confectioner... the mighty treasures of sugar-plums, white, and crimson, and yellow, in large glass vases; and candy of all varieties; and those little cockles, or whatever they are called, much prized by children for their sweetness, and more for the mottoes which they inclose, by love-sick maids and bachelors! Oh! my mouth waters... ~Nathaniel Hawthorne, "Little Annie's Ramble," Twice-Told Tales, 1837
Stir together in a small container one tablespoonful of rock-candy syrup and one wine-glass full of Rye whiskey. Heat over a flame and drink hot. This is excellent for a cold. ~Charles Nicholas Reinhardt, "Hot Drinks for the Fevered, Chilled and Cold, for Wet Feet, Chattering Teeth, Cold Spines, Shivers, Goose-Flesh, Frozen Fingers and Chilblain," Cheerio!, 1928
Novels are the pastry and candy of literature. ~Austin O'Malley, Keystones of Thought
O, if it should, how would thy guts fall about thy
knees! But, sirrah, there's no room for faith,
truth, nor honesty in this bosom of thine; it is all
filled up with guts and midriff. Charge an honest
woman with picking thy pocket! why, thou whoreson,
impudent, embossed rascal, if there were anything in
thy pocket but tavern-reckonings, memorandums of
bawdy-houses, and one poor penny-worth of
sugar-candy to make thee long-winded, if thy pocket
were enriched with any other injuries but these, I
am a villain: and yet you will stand to if; you will
not pocket up wrong: art thou not ashamed?
~William Shakespeare, Henry IV, Part I, c.1597 [III, 3, Henry V]
Original post date 2006 February 4th
Revised 2015 Nov 2, 2016 Oct 11, 2017 July 12, 2021 May 24
Last saved 2021 May 24 Mon 22:53 PDT