The Quote Garden
 “I dig old books.”
 Est. 1998




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Quotations about
Dairy Foods & Eggs



Mac and cheese, that's God's best handiwork. ~Bones, "The Glowing Bones in the Old Stone House," original airdate 2007 May 9th, spoken by the character Seeley Booth, writing credits S.Nathan, H.Hanson, K.Reichs, N.Hawley, and K.Rosenthal


There's something about getting up at 5 a.m., feeding the stock and chickens, and milking a couple of cows before breakfast that gives you a life-long respect for the price of butter and eggs. ~William Vaughn, 1963


Hey yogurt, if you're so cultured, how come I never see you at the opera? ~Stephen Colbert, 2009


Condensed milk is wonderful. I don't see how they can get a cow to sit down on those little cans. ~Fred Allen (1894–1956)


Whoever needs milk, bows to the animal. ~Yiddish saying


There are certain things in this world that seem to go together, just as natural as if they were born for each other, and HAM and EGGS are two of them. Although they come from different localities, they must be twins, for they are so often seen together. ~Josh Billings, revised by H. Montague


There's no such thing as soy milk. It's soy juice. ~Lewis Black


Dr. Floyd Reynolds:  What? I don't want that.
Dr. Lyn Malvo:  It's just oat milk.
Dr. Reynolds:  What do you mean, "just oat milk?" You ever seen an udder on an oat? That's not natural.
~New Amsterdam, "Things Fall Apart," 2021, written by Graham Norris and Y. Shireen Razack  [S3, E12]


Oh. We were thinking Parmesan meant, not "coming from Parma," but "coming from a green shaker can." ~Barbara Kingsolver, "Called Home," Animal, Vegetable, Miracle: A Year of Food Life, 2007


Provided it be well and truly made there is really for the confirmed turophile no such thing as a bad cheese. A cheese may disappoint. It may be dull, it may be naive, it may be oversophisticated. Yet it remains cheese, milk's leap toward immortality. ~Clifton Fadiman, "The Cheese Stands Alone," Any Number Can Play, 1957


The cow is of the bovine ilk;
One end is moo, the other, milk.
~Ogden Nash (1902–1971), "The Cow"


Here are two things any man can find in the dark — a carpet tack and a limburger sandwich. ~Noah Lott (George V. Hobart), The Silly Syclopedia, 1905


...processed cheese food, "stale cheddar, reworked with chemicals"... ~Leonard Louis Levinson, Webster's Unafraid Dictionary, 1967


Cheese that is required by law to append the word food to its title does not go well with red wine or fruit. ~Fran Lebowitz


As for butter versus margarine, I trust cows more than chemists. ~Joan Gussow, 1986


In shape, it is perfectly elliptical. In texture, it is smooth and lustrous. In color, it ranges from pale alabaster to warm terra cotta. And in taste, it outstrips all the lush pomegranates that Swinburne was so fond of sinking his lyrical teeth into. ~Sydney Harris, "Tribute to an Egg," 1957


When a cow laughs, does milk come out her nose? ~Author unknown


With good bread and good coffee, a square inch of choice butter makes a breakfast. ~Maud C. Cooke, Breakfast, Dinner and Supper, 1897


I do like a little bit of butter to my bread! ~A.A. Milne, When We Were Very Young, 1924


The friendly cow all red and white,
      I love with all my heart:
She gives me cream with all her might,
      To eat with apple-tart...
~Robert Louis Stevenson, "The Cow"


Don't forget that the flavors of wine and cheese depend upon the types of infecting microörganisms. ~Martin H. Fischer


A dessert without cheese is like a beautiful woman who has lost an eye. ~Anthelme Brillat-Savarin, The Physiology of Taste; or, Transcendental Gastronomy, 1825, translated by Fayette Robinson, 1854


MILKY WAY  The beaten path that runs from the cow-shed to the pump. ~Charles Wayland Towne, The Altogether New Foolish Dictionary, by Gideon Wurdz, 1914


My forthcoming work in five volumes, "The Neglect of Cheese in European Literature," is a work of such unprecedented and laborious detail that it is doubtful if I shall live to finish it. I cannot yet wholly explain the neglect to which I refer. Poets have been mysteriously silent on the subject of cheese. Virgil, if I remember right, refers to it several times, but with too much Roman restraint. He does not let himself go on cheese. Except Virgil and the anonymous rhymer of "If all the trees were bread and cheese," I can recall no verse about cheese. Yet it has every quality which we require in exalted poetry. It is a short, strong word, and it rhymes to "breeze" and "seas." Cheese has also variety, the very soul of song. ~G. K. Chesterton  [A little altered. And it's not true! See my page of cheese poetry. –tg]


CUSTARD, n.  A detestable substance produced by a malevolent conspiracy of the hen, the cow, and the cook. ~Ambrose Bierce


ALAS! my CHILD, where is the PEN that can do justice to the HEN?
Like ROYALTY, she goes her way laying FOUNDATIONS every day,
Though not for PUBLIC BUILDINGS, yet for CUSTARD, CAKE and OMELETTE
Or if TOO OLD for such a use they have their FLING at some ABUSE:
As when, to CENSURE PLAYS UNFIT, upon the STAGE they make a HIT,
Or at ELECTIONS SEAL the FATE of an OBNOXIOUS CANDIDATE.
No wonder, CHILD, we prize the HEN, whose EGG is mightier than the PEN.
~Oliver Herford, "The Hen," 1901





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