The Quote Garden
 “I dig old books.”
 Est. 1998

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Quotations: Dentists,
Teeth, Dental Work, etc.

Related Quotes      Smiles      Tooth Fairy      Medical      Food      Health

Welcome to my page of quotations about dental work, dentists, teeth, toothaches, and the like. I do quite love my own dentist and hygienist so am sorry to say that these are not all positive quotes about the profession which keeps us smiling, but there's not much poetry in the drill. Well, except one quote below in which there actually is — from Mrs. Miniver, and it's my favorite dental literary harvest thus far. An author who thinks to associate John Donne with dental work has an interesting mind indeed. So floss, smile, and enjoy the quotes! —tεᖇᖇ¡·g

NOTE:  Some of the quotes on this page were submitted to me by visitors, and not all have been verified for original source or wording. I'm working hard to confirm everything, but in the meantime please be aware of the possibility for errors.   —ღ Terri, March 2021

Be true to your teeth and they won't be false to you. ~Soupy Sales

The toothbrush doesn't remove six months of tartar 30 minutes before your appointment. ~Dental Saying

Dentistry is not expensive, neglect is. ~Dental Saying

Hot things, sharp things, sweet things, cold things,
All rot the teeth, and make them look like old things.
~Benjamin Franklin

Got teeth? Thank your dental hygienist. ~Dental Saying

Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill. ~Johnny Carson

A dentist at work in his vocation always looks down in the mouth. ~George D. Prentice

...for I never in all my Life have had a Tooth drawn, or dropt out, or rotted by the Worm, or loosen'd by Rheum. ~Miguel de Cervantes, Don Quixote, 1605, translated from the Spanish by several hands

Why, you have in this nether Jaw on this Side but two Grinders and a Stump; and in that Part of your upper Jaw, never a Stump, and never a Grinder; alas all's levell'd there, as smooth as the Palm of one's Hand. Oh unfortunate Don Quixote, cry'd the Knight! I had rather have lost an Arm, so it were not my Sword-Arm; for a Mouth without Cheek-Teeth, is like a Mill without a Millstone, Sancho; and every Tooth in a Man's Head is more valuable than a Diamond. ~Miguel de Cervantes, Don Quixote, 1605, translated from the Spanish by several hands

If suffering brought wisdom, the dentist's office would be full of luminous ideas. ~Mason Cooley

No, my friend, I am not drunk. It is that I have been to the dentist and I need not go again for six months. It is a beautiful thought. ~Agatha Christie, The Patriotic Murders (Hercule Poirot)

You don't have to brush your teeth — just the ones you want to keep. ~Author unknown

Too many of today's children have straight teeth and crooked morals. ~Unidentified high school principal

The man with the toothache thinks everyone happy whose teeth are sound. ~George Bernard Shaw

Dentist: a prestidigitator who, putting metal into your mouth, pulls coin out of your pocket. ~Ambrose Bierce

I find that most men would rather have their bellies opened for five hundred dollars than have a tooth pulled for five. ~Martin H. Fischer (1879–1962)

I pray thee, peace. I will be flesh and blood;
For there was never yet philosopher
That could endure the toothache patiently,
However they have writ the style of gods
And made a push at chance and sufferance.
~William Shakespeare, Much Ado about Nothing, c.1598  [V, 1, Leonato]

We do have a zeal for laughter in most situations, give or take a dentist. ~Joseph Heller

One thing I like less than most things is sitting in a dentist chair with my mouth wide open,
And that I will never have to do it again is a hope that I am against hope hopen.
Because some tortures are physical and some are mental,
But the one that is both is dental...
~Ogden Nash (1902–1971), "This Is Going to Hurt Just a Little Bit"

My dentist's business card says, "teeth are the windows to the soul." ~Jimmy Fallon, 2017 tweet

Those cherries fairly do enclose
Of orient pearl a double row,
Which, when her lovely laughter shows,
They look like rosebuds fill'd with snow.
~An Howre's Recreation in Musike, 1606

Even pearls are dark before the whiteness of his teeth. ~William R. Alger

If a patient cannot clean his teeth, no dentist can do it for him. ~Martin H. Fischer (1879–1962)

An aching tooth is better out than in.
To lose a rotting member is a gain.
~Richard Baxter, Poetical Fragments

THE  HAPPIEST  TIME in anyone's life is the 1st 15 minutes after they've just had a big aching jaw tooth jerked out. ~Josh Billings, revised by H. Montague

My health plan doesn't cover dental, so I enrolled my teeth as 32 dependents, each needing a complete physical once a year. ~Robert Brault,

A man loses his illusions first, his teeth second, and his follies last. ~Helen Rowland

Love conquers all things except poverty and toothache. ~Author Unknown

Treat your password like your toothbrush. Don't let anybody else use it, and get a new one every six months. ~Clifford Stoll

There are... two things in life that a sage must preserve at every sacrifice, the coats of his stomach and the enamel of his teeth. Some evils admit of consolations: there are no comforters for dyspepsia and toothache. ~Edward George Earle Bulwer-Lytton, 1st Baron Lytton, Kenelm Chillingly: His Adventures and Opinions, 1873

Adam and Eve had many advantages, but the principal one was, that they escaped teething. ~Mark Twain

The tongue rolles there where the teeth aketh. ~Proverb

The Tongue is ever turning to the aching Tooth. ~Proverb

Music helps not the tooth-ache. ~George Herbert's Proverbs

I've been to the dentist several times so I know the drill. ~Author Unknown

Smile, it lets your teeth breathe. ~Author Unknown

Some old women and men grow bitter with age; the more their teeth drop out, the more biting they get. ~George D. Prentice

Now my weary heart is breaking, for my left hand tooth is aching, with a harsh, persistent rumble that is keeping folks awake; hollowed out by long erosion, it, with spasm and explosion, seems resolved to show the public how a dog-gone tooth can ache. Now it's quivering or quaking; now it's going fancy aching, then it shoots some Roman candles which go whizzing through my brain; now it does some lofty tumbling, then again it's merely grumbling; and anon it's showing samples of spring novelties in pain. All the time my woe increases; I have kicked a chair to pieces, but it didn't seem to soothe me or to bring my soul relief; I have stormed around the shanty till my wife and maiden auntie said they'd pull their freight and leave me full enjoyment of my grief. I have made myself so pleasant that I'm quarantined at present, and the neighbors say they'll shoot me if I venture from my door; now a voice cries: "If thou'd wentest in the first place, to a dentist—" it is strange that inspiration never came to me before! ~Walt Mason (1862–1939), "Toothache"

It is guaranteed to put all teeth on edge including George Washington's, wherever they might be. ~Author Unknown

When fortune turns against you, even jelly breaks your teeth. ~Proverb

Effort is like toothpaste: you can usually squeeze out just a little bit more. ~Author Unknown

He must have seen me looking at his mouth, for he explained, 'I had very good dentures once. Some magnificent gold work. It's the only form of jewelry a man can wear that women fully appreciate. Dear things, they like to put their lips on gold.' ~Graham Greene, Travels With My Aunt

A woman's crowning glory may be her hair, but there are not a few girls with crowned teeth, too. ~"Poor Richard Junior's Philosophy," The Saturday Evening Post, 1908, George Horace Lorimer, editor

Blessed are they who hold lively conversations with the helplessly mute, for they shall be called dentists. ~Ann Landers

Ye, who e'er lost a tooth — O tell the smart. ~Mr. Pratt, to Mr. Sigmond, a celebrated Dentist, at Bath, on drawing one of the Author's Teeth, The Monthly Magazine, 1803

Dentists are medical professionals who help you put your money where your mouth is. ~Author Unknown

A man begins cutting his wisdom teeth the first time he bites off more than he can chew. ~Herb Caen

Men often think submission indicates weakness, that letting someone else take charge betrays a character deficit. But we all submit to strangers who drill into our teeth as long as we can see the parchment on their wall which reads "Dentist." ~Edmond Manning, King Perry

Smile — sunshine is good for your teeth. ~Ludlow Porch, 1981

Better tooth out than always ache. ~James Howell's Proverbs

A  SECRET is like an aching tooth — keeps you uneasy till it's out. ~Josh Billings, revised by H. Montague

      "Quite comfortable?" asked Mr. Hinchley when he had played his usual little overture upon the various pedals and handles of his adjustable chair.
      "Quite, thank you," said Mrs. Miniver. Horribly, she felt inclined to add. For really it was the refinement of civilized cruelty, this spick, span, and ingenious affair of shining leather and gleaming steel, which hoisted you and tilted you and fitted reassuringly into the small of your back and cupped your head tenderly between padded cushions. It ensured for you a more complete muscular relaxation than any armchair that you could buy for your own home: but it left your tormented nerves without even the solace of a counter-irritant. In the old days the victim's attention had at least been distracted by an ache in the back, a crick in the neck, pins and needles in the legs, and the uneasy tickling of plush under the palm. But now, too efficiently suspended between heaven and earth, you were at liberty to concentrate on hell.
      ~Jan Struther, Mrs. Miniver, 1930s

      "A lit-tle wi-der," said Mr. Hinchley indulgently, dividing the words into separate syllables as though he were teaching a very small child to read.... Mrs. Miniver obeyed meekly and resigned herself to the exquisite discomfort of the electric drill. It was a pity, she felt, that this instrument had been invented during a period when scientific images in poetry were out of favour. To the moderns, who had been brought up with it, it was presumably vieux jeu. They took it for granted; it did not fire their imagination like the pylons and the power-houses which were now the fashionable emotive symbols. But oh, what Donne could have made of it, if it had been invented in his time! With what delight he would have seized upon it, with what harsh jostling and grinding of consonants he would have worked out metaphor after metaphor, comparing its action to that of all the worst tormentors of the heart: to jealousy, to remorse, to the sharp gnawing of a bad conscience and the squalid nagging of debt....
      Oh! page John Donne.... Run, buttoned cherubim, through the palm lounges and gilt corridors of heaven.... And tell him that there are at least two poems waiting to be written in Mr. Hinchley's surgery. Miss Bligh will hand him a pen.
      ~Jan Struther, Mrs. Miniver, 1930s

      Mrs. Miniver kept her eyes focused as long as possible upon the far distance, hoping that they would take her other senses with them. But they didn't. The drill was too insistent. So presently she brought them back and cast a reproachful spaniel-glance upwards at Mr. Hinchley, which he was too much absorbed to see. She devoted the next few minutes to making a slow, dispassionate study of his left eyebrow, which was a good enough shape as eyebrows go; and then decided that nothing but a deep romantic love could make the human face tolerable at such close quarters.
      The far and the near having both failed her, she explored the middle distance: the embossed plaster patterns on the ceiling; the round, white lamp—an albino moon—which hung between her and the window; the X-ray machine; the sterilizer; the glass bowl on her left with the tumbler of pink mouth-wash beside it; and on her right the large composite fitment, so absurdly like a porcelain snowman, out of which burgeoned, among other things, this insufferable, this inescapable, this altogether abominable drill.
      ~Jan Struther, Mrs. Miniver, 1930s

Miss Bligh, as though by prestidigitation, suddenly held a syringe between her scarlet finger-tips.... The prick of the injection was sharp, but its effect was magical. In an instant the left-hand side of her face ceased to belong to her. She put up one finger and stroked her cheek curiously. It was like stroking somebody else's; and therefore it was, tactually, like seeing herself clearly for the first time. Not in a mirror, where the eyes must always bear the double burden of looking and being looked into; but from outside, through a window, catching herself in profile and unawares. ~Jan Struther, Mrs. Miniver, 1930s

When a thief kisses you, count your teeth. ~Proverb

The teeth form a barrier to check wanton words. ~Aulus Gellius

My curse upon thy venom'd stang,
That shoots my tortured gums alang;
And through my lugs gies monie a twang,
Wi' gnawing vengeance,
Tearing my nerves wi' bitter pang,
Like racking engines!
~Robert Burns, "Address to the Toothache," 1786

Dental hygienists are boss of the floss. ~Dental Saying

A good dentist never gets on your nerves. ~Author Unknown

And you totter to your feet and think, Well it's all over now and after all it was only this once,
And he says come back in three monce.
And this, O Fate, is I think the most vicious circle that thou ever sentest,
That Man has to go continually to the dentist to keep his teeth in good condition when the chief reason he wants his teeth in good condition is so that he won't have to go to the dentist.
~Ogden Nash (1902–1971), "This Is Going to Hurt Just a Little Bit"

The grinding of the intellect is for most people as painful as a dentist's drill. ~Leonard Sidney Woolf

I'm always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can't understand is, if they don't know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is? ~Paul Merton

Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth. ~Mallory Hopkins

Where'er that place be priests ca' hell,
Where a' the tones o' misery yell,
An' ranked plagues their numbers tell,
In dreadfu' raw,
Thou, Toothache, surely bear'st the bell,
Amang them a'!
~Robert Burns, "Address to the Toothache," 1786

Tooth decay was a perennial national problem that meant a mouthful of silver for patients, and for dentists a pocketful of gold. ~Claudia Wallis

A dentist gets to the root of the problem. ~Dental Humor

When a writer becomes a reader of his or her own work, a lot can go wrong. It's like do-it-yourself dentistry. ~William Collins

You can't escape history, or the needs and neuroses you've picked up like layers and layers of tartar on your teeth. ~Charles Johnson

I won't have to brush my teeth or floss tonight. Any food trapped in my teeth got knocked out. ~Charles Thomas

The harsh, useful things of the world, from pulling teeth to digging potatoes, are best done by men who are as starkly sober as so many convicts in the death-house, but the lovely and useless things, the charming and exhilarating things, are best done by men with, as the phrase is, a few sheets in the wind. ~H.L. Mencken

The trick to not growing old is to: Stay curious. Keep your teeth. Stay hopeful. Do everything gracefully, yet kick when you have to. ~Carew Papritz

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Last saved 2021 Mar 27 Sat 22:01 PDT

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