The Quote Garden

 I dig old books.

 Est. 1998

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Quotations:  “How True!”

Today is the longest day of the year—but anymore, every day is. ~Chuck Palahniuk, Diary, 2003

If an article is attractive, or useful, or inexpensive, they'll stop making it tomorrow; if it's all three, they stopped making it yesterday. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1963

There is nothing like really getting to know people to reduce your need for their approval. ~Robert Brault,

Confucius say, man think happy, man about to step on banana skin. ~Jeffrey Ashford (b.1926), Loyal Disloyalty, 1996

Most people who have an opinion about everything have actually just one opinion that applies to everything. ~Robert Brault,

If there is something you must do and you cannot do it, you cannot do anything else. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1963

Absurdity.— Any thing advanced by our opponents, contrary to our own practice, or above our comprehension. ~"Specimens of a Patent Pocket Dictionary, For the use of those who wish to understand the meaning of things as well as words," The New Monthly Magazine and Literary Journal, 1824

I tell you this, and I tell you plain:
What you have done, you will do again;
You will bite your tongue, careful or not,
Upon the already-bitten spot.
~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1963

What you discover about life's shell game is that it's hardest to follow the pea when you're the pea. ~Robert Brault,

Never do anything that you wouldn't want to explain to the paramedics. ~Author unknown

To know exactly what you want from life is to become a magnet to everyone who doesn't. ~Robert Brault,

A person with an hour to kill usually spends it with someone who can't spare a minute. ~Arnold H. Glasow (1905–1999)

There's an old pedagogical rule of thumb saying that once you've identified a problem and given it a sufficiently impressive name, you can safely forget about it. ~Gerald Raftery, "Confer with Sages Here!," in The Wilson Library Bulletin, September 1961

Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark. ~Author unknown

The worst of plagiarists is he who says something which we could have said but didn't. ~"Poor Richard Junior's Philosophy," The Saturday Evening Post, 1903, George Horace Lorimer, editor

It's frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody bothers to ask you the questions. ~Author unknown

Natural talents in inanimate things —
      Pencils — for getting lost.
      Umbrellas — for getting stolen.
      Money — for taking wings.
      Petticoats — for blowing about.
      Secrets — for getting known.
      Lies — for getting believed.
~Charles Searle, Look Here!, 1885

If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire. ~Cannon's Cogent Comment, quoted in 1,001 Logical Laws, Accurate Axioms, Profound Principles, Trusty Truisms, Homey Homilies, Colorful Corollaries, Quotable Quotes, and Rambunctious Ruminations for all walks of life, compiled by John Peers & edited by Gordon Bennett, 1979

People who snore always fall asleep first. ~Author unknown

Men have an irresistible impulse to believe that, so long as they see nobody, nobody sees them — like children who shut their eyes so as not to be seen. ~Georg Christoph Lichtenberg (1742–1799), translated by Norman Alliston, 1908

Perfume: any smell that is used to drown out a worse one. ~Elbert Hubbard

The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement. ~Author unknown

The trouble with, "A place for everything and everything in its place" is that there's always more everything than places. ~Robert Brault,

Victoria: What is your biggest pet peeve?
Lemony Snicket: The car alarm, as it has come to signify the opposite of its intention. When you hear a car alarm go off, you know that whatever is happening, the car is not being stolen.
~From a live Facebook chat hosted by Scholastic Reading Club, 2013 January 16th

No one is listening until you fart. ~Author unknown

So soon as a fashion is universal, it is out of date. ~Marie Dubsky, Freifrau von Ebner-Eschenbach (1830–1916), translated by Mrs Annis Lee Wister, 1882

It takes so little to make a stranger's day, and even less to totally ruin it. ~Demetri Martin

You can shout it to every star,
Bare your soul up to the moon,
Cast your problems nightly afar—
But they always flood back by noon.
~Terri Guillemets

Interchangeable parts don't, leakproof seals aren't, and self-starters won't. ~Author unknown

It's my luck that every time I feel I completely comprehend God's plan, I don't have a pencil with me. ~Robert Brault,

Keep a thing seven years and it's bound to come in handy. ~Russian proverb

Warranty – A notice telling the buyer when the product that was just purchased will no longer function. ~Richard E. Turner (1937–2011), The Grammar Curmudgeon, a.k.a. "The Mudge," from "The Curmudgeon's Short Dictionary of Modern Phrases," c.2009,

There is nothing more essential to getting a project off the ground than the underestimate. ~Robert Brault,

Everything I touch
with tenderness, alas
pricks like a bramble
~Issa (1763–1828), translated by Peter Beilenson & Harry Behn, 1962

There are men whom you will never dislodge from an opinion, except by taking possession of it yourself. ~Augustus William Hare and Julius Charles Hare, Guesses at Truth, by Two Brothers, 1827

I have never met anyone who wanted to save the world without my financial support. ~Robert Brault,

When a man STUMPS HIS TOE he cusses everything in creation 1st, then his toe, but never himself. ~Josh Billings, revised by H. Montague

One way to distinguish good from evil is that evil is nearly always quicker to take offense and defend its honor. ~Robert Brault,

Most of us can read the handwriting on the wall; we just assume it's addressed to somebody else. ~Ivern Ball, in National Enquirer, as quoted by The Reader's Digest, 1991

Eventually you realize that certain people are never going to notice you, and certain others are going to find you no matter where you hide. ~Robert Brault,

Self-Checkout Line – The place where customers of an establishment become unpaid employees of the establishment. ~Richard E. Turner (1937–2011), The Grammar Curmudgeon, a.k.a. "The Mudge," from "The Curmudgeon's Short Dictionary of Modern Phrases," c.2009,

There are things you do that come back to haunt you — and things that haunt you without ever leaving. ~Robert Brault,

I wish I loved anything as much as cats love walking on keyboards while you’re answering emails. ~Keith Wynn, @ravens_rhapsody, tweet, 2020

It's annoying to be disapproved of by people who know only half the story, especially when you're not sure which half they know. ~Robert Brault,

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