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Quotations about Investing,
Stock Market, Wall Street, etc.



A dollar in the vault is worth two in the stock-market. ~"Poor Richard Junior's Philosophy," The Saturday Evening Post, 1906, George Horace Lorimer, editor


OCTOBER: This is one of the peculiarly dangerous months to speculate in stocks in. The other are July, January, September, April, November, May, March, June, December, August, and February. ~Mark Twain


Here's a tip to investors: Buy airship stocks. They are sure to go up. ~"Edlets," The Spatula: An Illustrated Magazine for Pharmacists, 1919


Put not your trust in money, but put your money in trust. ~Oliver Wendell Holmes


The man who butts his head against the stock market soon learns why it is called Wall Street. ~20,000 Quips & Quotes, Evan Esar, 1968


Wall Street has gone stock raving mad! ~Robert Orben, 2100 Laughs For All Occasions, 1983


Gentlemen prefer bonds. ~Andrew Mellon, unverified


Never invest in any idea you can't illustrate with a crayon. ~Peter Lynch


The Broker is the man who assists the Investor in going broke gracefully. ~Gideon Wurdz (Charles Wayland Towne), "Standard Oil Maxims," Foolish Finance, 1905


There's nothing wrong with the stock market that couldn't be cured by Valium-flavored fingernails. ~Robert Orben, 2400 Jokes to Brighten Your Speeches, 1984


Th' safest way t' double your money is t' fold it over once an' put it back in your pocket. ~Kin Hubbard


A dollar picked up in the road is more satisfaction to you than the ninety-and-nine which you had to work for, and money won at faro or in stocks snuggles into your heart in the same way. ~Mark Twain


That prosperity dollar which rolled through Wall Street looked like thirty cents before it got out. ~"Poor Richard Junior's Philosophy," The Saturday Evening Post, 1903, George Horace Lorimer, editor


If man really wants but little here below he can get it by investing in trust securities. ~"Poor Richard Junior's Philosophy," The Saturday Evening Post, 1903, George Horace Lorimer, editor


Wall Street is made up of three types of investors: bulls, bears and asses. ~20,000 Quips & Quotes, Evan Esar, 1968


Foul-cankering rust the hidden treasure frets,
But gold that's put to use more gold begets.
~William Shakespeare, Venus and Adonis


If all the economists in this country were laid end to end, they would never reach a conclusion. ~Author unknown


Many a man is badly burned in the stock market by picking up a hot tip. ~20,000 Quips & Quotes, Evan Esar, 1968


Goodness is the only investment that never fails. ~Henry David Thoreau


I'm tired of Love: I'm still more tired of Rhyme.
But Money gives me pleasure all the time.
~Hilaire Belloc, "Fatigued," Sonnets and Verse, 1924


STOCKS  An unreliable commodity bought and sold by gamblers. If you win, it's an investment; if you lose, a speculation. ~Charles Wayland Towne, The Foolish Dictionary, Executed by Gideon Wurdz, Master of Pholly, Doctor of Loquacious Lunacy, etc., 1904


An investment in knowledge always pays the best interest. ~Author unknown


Just as a cautious businessman avoids investing all his capital in one concern, so wisdom would probably admonish us also not to anticipate all our happiness from one quarter alone. ~Sigmund Freud


He never clipped a coupon for he never owned a stock;
He never had a bank account—not even in a sock;
He never was mistaken for a putter-by of wealth—
His int'rest came in sunshine and his dividends in health.
~Author unknown, "The Happy Investor," 1914


Every morning I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work. ~Robert Orben, as quoted by The Reader's Digest, 1987


The best way to make a thousand dollars in the stock market is to start with five thousand and quit when you've only lost four. ~20,000 Quips & Quotes, Evan Esar, 1968


When money talks it often merely remarks "Good-by." ~"Poor Richard Junior's Philosophy," The Saturday Evening Post, 1903, George Horace Lorimer, editor


Invest a few moments in thinking. It will pay good interest. ~Author Unknown


There is something fascinating about science. One gets such wholesale returns of conjecture out of such a trifling investment of fact. ~Mark Twain


I'm opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer me the position. ~Mark Twain





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