The Quote Garden
 “I dig old books.”
 Est. 1998

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Quotations about Shopping

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NOTE:  Some of the quotes on this page were submitted to me by visitors, and not all have been verified for original source or wording. I'm working hard to confirm everything, but in the meantime please be aware of the possibility for errors.   —ღ Terri, March 2021

Whoever said money can't buy happiness simply didn't know where to go shopping.  ~Bo Derek

When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping.  Men invade another country.  It's a whole different way of thinking.  ~Elayne Boosler

If men liked shopping, they'd call it research.  ~Cynthia Nelms

A consumer is a shopper who is sore about something.  ~Harold Coffin

Shopping is a woman thing.  It's a contact sport like football.  Women enjoy the scrimmage, the noisy crowds, the danger of being trampled to death, and the ecstasy of the purchase.  ~Erma Bombeck

The quickest way to know a woman is to go shopping with her.  ~Marcelene Cox

Shopping tip:  You can get shoes for 85 cents at the bowling alley.  ~Author Unknown

I always say shopping is cheaper than a psychiatrist.  ~Tammy Faye Bakker

Thank God we're living in a country where the sky's the limit, the stores are open late and you can shop in bed thanks to television.  ~Joan Rivers

A Christmas shopper's complaint is one of long-standing.  ~Author Unknown

Of all the divers brands of joy that make our journey sunny, of all the bliss without alloy, there's none like spending money. It's well to put away a wad, against the rainy weather; it's well, when hard times are abroad, to have some coins together. But when you've salted down a roll of sesterces and talents, then, to invigorate your soul, go out and blow the balance. Don't let the saving habit grow, until you are a miser; salt down a part, a portion blow—that policy's the wiser. I like to toddle to the bank and put some bones in pickle; I like to save, but I'm no crank on saving every nickel. I like to take the extra plunk, and to the mart go flying, and buy a lot of useless junk, just for the sake of buying. ~Walt Mason

People will buy anything that is one to a customer.  ~Sinclair Lewis

The other line moves faster.  ~Etorre's Observation

Buying something on sale is a very special feeling.  In fact, the less I pay for something, the more it is worth to me.  I have a dress that I paid so little for that I am afraid to wear it.  I could spill something on it, and then how would I replace it for that amount of money?  ~Rita Rudner

We used to build civilizations.  Now we build shopping malls.  ~Bill Bryson

I like my money right where I can see it - hanging in my closet.  ~From the television show Sex and the City

A bargain is something you can't use at a price you can't resist.  ~Franklin P. Jones

Sale Price – What something costs when it is priced only slightly above what it is worth; also what something is priced at the day after we bought it at a higher price. ~Richard E. Turner (1937–2011), The Grammar Curmudgeon, a.k.a. "The Mudge," from "The Curmudgeon's Short Dictionary of Modern Phrases," c.2009,

I haven't reported my missing credit card to the police because whoever stole it is spending less than my wife.  ~Ilie Nastase

I love to go shopping.  I love to freak out salespeople.  They ask me if they can help me, and I say, "Have you got anything I'd like?"  Then they ask me what size I need, and I say, "Extra medium."  ~Steven Wright

The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with only a loaf of bread are three billion to one. ~Erma Bombeck

And then you read an advertisement saying that somebody has removed thirty per cent from the price of their ties and socks and collars,
So although the ties and socks and collars you already have are still pretty clean,
Why you go in and order fifty dollars' worth because by spending fifty dollars you can save fifteen...
~Ogden Nash (1902–1971), "To Bargain, Toboggan, To-Whoo!"

I've been shopping all my life and still have nothing to wear. ~Author unknown

The woman just ahead of you at the supermarket checkout has all the delectable groceries you didn't even know they carried. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966, ©Thomas Paine McLaughlin

Anyone who believes the competitive spirit in America is dead has never been in a supermarket when the cashier opens another checkout line. ~Ann Landers

One cause of poverty is too many bargains. ~"Poor Richard Junior's Philosophy," The Saturday Evening Post, 1906, George Horace Lorimer, editor

It is the bargain counter that keeps us poor. ~"Poor Richard Junior's Philosophy," The Saturday Evening Post, 1903, George Horace Lorimer, editor

A bargain ain't a bargain unless it's something you need.  ~Sidney Carroll

Credit buying is much like being drunk.  The buzz happens immediately and gives you a lift.... The hangover comes the day after.  ~Joyce Brothers

CONSUMER  From con, meaning to dupe, and Latin summa, highest. The Dupe who pays the highest price. ~Charles Wayland Towne, The Altogether New Foolish Dictionary, by Gideon Wurdz, 1914

Man thinks more of the cigar thrown in than of the box he pays for. ~"Poor Richard Junior's Philosophy," The Saturday Evening Post, 1903, George Horace Lorimer, editor

Only one shopping day left 'til tomorrow.  ~Author Unknown

Ninety nine is a famous number
For at the market the seller knows
In our minds it's so much softer
Than its bigger brother the dollar!
~Terri Guillemets, "99¢"

I went to a general store but they wouldn't let me buy anything specific.  ~Steven Wright

If the shoe fits, buy it in every color!  ~Author Unknown

Shopping:  The fine art of acquiring things you don't need with money you don't have.  ~Author Unknown

I shop like a bull - I charge everything!  ~Author Unknown

Unless you live in Indonesia, there should be several malls within five miles of your home. It makes no difference whatsoever which one you go to: Under federal law, all malls in the United States must have the same 42 chain stores. ~Dave Barry, "Christmas Shopping: Go Knock Yourself Out," 1981,

Wouldn't it be great if retail therapy was covered by health insurance. ~Author Unknown

On the one hand, shopping is dependable:  You can do it alone, if you lose your heart to something that is wrong for you, you can return it; it's instant gratification and yet something you buy may well last for years.  ~Judith Krantz

The only reason a great many American families don't own an elephant is that they have never been offered an elephant for a dollar down and easy weekly payments.  ~Mad Magazine

Oh, for the good old days when people would stop Christmas shopping when they ran out of money.  ~Author Unknown

Shopping is better than sex.  If you're not satisfied after shopping you can make an exchange for something you really like.  ~Adrienne Gusoff

But it is a cold, lifeless business when you go to the shops to buy something, which does not represent your life and talent, but a goldsmith's.  ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.  ~Oscar Wilde

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Last saved 2021 Jul 20 Tue 13:40 PDT

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