The Quote Garden
 “I dig old books.”
 Est. 1998

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Quotations for
System Administrator
Appreciation Day (July)

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NOTE:  Some of the quotes on this page were submitted to me by visitors, and not all have been verified for original source or wording. I'm working hard to confirm everything, but in the meantime please be aware of the possibility for errors.  —ღ Terri, March 2021

Your network is secure, your computer is up and running, and your printer is jam-free. Why? Because you've got an awesome sysadmin (or maybe a whole IT department) keeping your business up and running. So say IT loud; say IT proud... Happy SysAdmin Day!

The problem with troubleshooting is that trouble shoots back.  ~Author Unknown

User, n.  The word computer professionals use when they mean "idiot."  ~Dave Barry

Man is still the most extraordinary computer of all.  ~John F. Kennedy

Computers have lots of memory but no imagination.  ~Author Unknown

There are three kinds of death in this world.  There's heart death, there's brain death, and there's being off the network.  ~Guy Almes

RAM disk is not an installation procedure.  ~Author Unknown

Those parts of the system that you can hit with a hammer (not advised) are called hardware; those program instructions that you can only curse at are called software.  ~Author Unknown

If a trainstation is where the train stops, what's a workstation?  ~Author Unknown

Computers, huh?  I've heard it all boils down to just a bunch of ones and zeroes.... I don't know how that enables me to see naked women, but however it works, God bless you guys.  ~From the television show King of Queens (may not be exact wording), spoken by the character Doug Heffernan

Don't anthropomorphize computers - they hate it.  ~Author Unknown

Jesus saves!  The rest of us better make backups.  ~Author Unknown

In God we trust, all others we virus scan.  ~Author Unknown

There is only one satisfying way to boot a computer.  ~J.H. Goldfuss

If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into committees.  That'll do them in.  ~Author Unknown

The question of whether computers can think is just like the question of whether submarines can swim.  ~Edsger W. Dijkstra

The real danger is not that computers will begin to think like men, but that men will begin to think like computers.  ~Sydney J. Harris

If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization. ~Weinberg’s Law (Gerald Weinberg)

The most overlooked advantage to owning a computer is that if they foul up, there's no law against whacking them around a little.  ~Eric Porterfield

Computers are like air conditioners.  They work fine until you start opening windows.  ~Author Unknown

Hardware:  the parts of a computer that can be kicked.  ~Jeff Pesis

If it draws blood, it's hardware.  ~Author Unknown

I haven't lost my mind; I have a tape back-up somewhere.  ~Author Unknown

Back up my hard drive?  How do I put it in reverse?  ~Author Unknown

Truth is, I wouldn't know a gigabyte from a snakebite.  ~Dolly Parton

The best way to accelerate a Macintosh is at 9.8m/sec/sec.  ~Marcus Dolengo

Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach that person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.  ~Author Unknown

If addiction is judged by how long a dumb animal will sit pressing a lever to get a 'fix' of something, to its own detriment, then I would conclude that netnews is far more addictive than cocaine.  ~Rob Stampfli

The attention span of a computer is only as long as its power cord.  ~Author Unknown

Programming is like sex.  One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.  ~Michael Sinz

It's not a bug - it's an undocumented feature.  ~Author Unknown

Version 1 of any software is full of bugs.  Version 2 fixes all the bugs and is great.  Version 3 adds all the things users ask for, but hides all the great stuff in Version 2.  ~Fred Blechman

Why did the sysadmin cross the road?  To get coffee, why else would one be outside?  ~Author Unknown

To err is human, to really foul things up requires a computer.  ~Bill Vaughan, 1969 (Thanks, Garson O'Toole!)

Writing the first 90 percent of a computer program takes 90 percent of the time.  The remaining ten percent also takes 90 percent of the time and the final touches also take 90 percent of the time.  ~N.J. Rubenking

There are two major products that came out of Berkeley:  LSD and UNIX.  We do not believe this to be a coincidence.  ~Jeremy S. Anderson

A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila.  ~Mitch Ratcliffe

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